SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group
A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...
I just wanted to make a post about recovering from a psychopath and the vast emptiness that you feel trying to explain yourself to other people. My PP and I broke up in February but we officially stopped seeing each other in April. It's been a good 5 months where I've had time to recover and reflect on myself. I can't say I haven't had setbacks but the point is, I'm much healthier, stronger and happier than i was 7 months prior! Even 10 months prior, when I was still with him. Anyway, my question to all of my supporters is, what do you do when you feel you've talked about your PP to family and friends, but you still feel you haven't talked about it enough? Or when you do talk about it and you get a negative response or no response at all? Honestly, I still have dreams about my PP, I still have times where I know cognitive disconince is in play and taking control, I still have days where all I wanna do is draw and write my feelings down on paper. Or days where I want to curl up in a ball in bed and cry...and cry....and cry. I feel like I'm not allowed to talk about him anymore or I'm not allowed to talk about what's happened anymore. Usually around this time, people think you've had enough space to grieve and get over things, unfortunately this is not the case. Yes I grieved, yes I feel Im over the shock and impending doom of the situation, but what has happened was more than just "this isn't working, we should break up". No, it was more. It was way more...and I don't expect myself to be entirely over it yet. So, what should I do? Times like these, I like to isolate myself but then I also get angry at everyone around me because I'm like, "why don't you care? Why don't you ask me what's wrong?"
My PP never apologized, never gave any kind of reassurance that he cared for me EVER, never took responsibility for putting me in the hospital, never took my feelings into consideration and then also..never looked back. Some days, I'm still angry. Some days, I still want to find him and strangle him for all he's worth (which is nothing). How do we deal with these burried emotions and how do we deal with family and friends when we're feeling this way? Thanks guys, love you all
I have just sort of started to accept that I may have been dealing with a narcissistic sociopath for the past seven years and some of the things I have read since then have been shockingly similar to me. Your post is another one of those things that I think I am feeling but I couldn't put into words. I identify so much with everything you're describing. I feel so much better knowing it isn't just me, although I'm sorry you have gone through similar things.
I have had the feeing lately that I talk way too much about my situation with NS, to the point that it is probably comically annoying to my friends and family (it's been 7 years now). I just can't seem to stop. It goes on and on until I'm exhausted of thinking of it, and then I effing DREAM about him. I had another dream just last night and I wake up in a panic, adrenaline up and emotion flowing. I have managed to squash the dreams a couple of ways, but it is difficult and hard to keep them away.
I definitely never got an apology for anything that has happened with me and NS. He always finds a way to spin things to be my fault, and I always BELIEVE him. Even when I don't believe him, I still believe him. It is the most ridiculous thing and it makes me feel insane.
I have no answers for how to talk to friends and family, or to get through the emotion. I've been in a cycle of break-up and get back together since 2010 when I started grad school. I know it is an incredibly unhealthy gigantic problem in my life but I just keep repeating it. I guess that's the definition of insanity, after all.
This is the most progress I have made in seven years. I think a lot of things helped and got me here, including a ton of therapy, a near-divorce, several suicide brushes, an adventure in returning to the cutting I did in my youth, and a new love of marijuana. But the thing that finally got me to go full no contact and completely cut him off totally- including blocking phone number, all social media, etc. was reading on these support groups online. I'm focusing on reading everything I can of other people's stories that are so similar to mine. For some reason it helps. I guess it keeps fresh in my mind that this is an issue, the love was all false, and that I need to stay strong. And mostly, it helps that I'm not alone. That is the thing I keep returning to to assure myself that I'm no entirely insane as well as a total shit human being.
Sorry for venting a little on your post. I hope you are doing much better from the hospital stay you mentioned, and that you continue to move forward and away from all of that.
You need to find a therapist and there is a healing process i read. You are young and attractive. U need to learn how to protect yourself.
Nothing surprises me anymore. It's sick. I ran fast. Torturing animals and humans are what they are good at.
My ex made me sick so many times and end up in the hospital. He never once cared about me. Not after the lovebomb phase. Why do i still hang out at his neighborhood? :(