I have no idea.....

Well, I can tell you are a smart girl. I am sure you can come up with ONE commitment toward yourself, which will help you. What are your passions?

Heavvee I'm not home so can't respond well now but if u feel suicidal please call for help this guy is not the one for u u deserve love and he is incapable of that. And please for now stop looking at his pics and stuff u are only hurting itself more. Nc baby girl.!!! I'll respond more tonite but don't do anything dumb he is not worth it .

heyvee, I've heard of some people having Narcissistic tendencies, and if your ex is not a full fledge narc I suspect at the very least he has narc tendencies. Tohellagain brought up a good point.... look in the mirror at that beautiful girl with a heart of gold. If you were to give "that gorgeous girl" advice to overcome her pain, what would you tell her? To perhaps forgive herself for any mistakes she may have, or may not have, made? To be kind to herself because she is a beautiful girl, inside and out? To love herself, because she deserves love and goodness?

That is what that lovely girl gazing back at you from that mirror deserves to hear. "She" has a kind, loving soul, and she deserves nothing less from the man who deserves to win her heart. Be good to YOU.... you deserve many blessings in your life..... :)

I don't know how to live knowing that he is not in my life and that he is in my past and that he has found someone to replace me and that she is all that I could never me.
I don't know how to cope. I'm completely lost and completely screwed up. The only way I can see myself living is being drugged and medicated for the rest of my life and sleeping through half of my life so I dont have to wake up and feel this pain.

I'm sorry to hear that dear girl. Perhaps, if it really is that difficult, you should consider admitting yourself to a hospital. At least, go see a doctor. But the medications I've seen doctors pass out can cause more damage than good. Be cautious.... I could tell you some sad stories. I definitely think you should consider a therapist or counselor. They can give us insight....especially a counselor familiar with personality disorders. They can be the person 'on the outside looking in'.

Please don't look at his FaceBook or Instagram anymore. It has done nothing good for you, only caused you to backslide into depression further. I see a lot of people do this. Re-reading old emails, letters and cards, old text messages... and all it does is make us feel like crap. It really is self destructive behavior to keep one's focus on the past in such a negative way.

You are a beautiful girl, with a good family, a darling puppy who needs you, intelligent and hard working..... please focus on those positive traits and blessings. Your ex and his fake life are part of your past... release it from your heart and mind so you can heal. I'm so sorry you are suffering, but you are stronger than you think. I'm sending you more good thoughts and hugs. Stay strong, V

I looked into psychotherapists today. If I dont get better I will have to check myself into a hospital.

Good for you, Girl. I'm proud to see you taking positive action. Just remember that you did not screw up anything in regards to the EX . The EX was a nothing. Just a persona that was in place until he knew how to succeed in abusing you. He's doing the same thing to the other woman. Yeah. He has pictures of her on his fb wall etcetra and everybody thinks he is so wonderful and happy for the two of them yadda yadda. He has himself portrayed as a great guy and happy and so forth. But fast forward to when he has devalued her enough, broken her heart and IF she goes NC with him, who will believe her? The family has been brainwashed into believing he is such a nice guy. According to the family SHE is the one who will have it all wrong and the family will continue their relationship with your EX, now hers. Don't envy her. She is only getting a persona just like you got. His relationship with her is deja vu in what he was like with you. He is just idealising himself differrently with her, until he is ready to devalue her.

hevvee, everything your describing about how you feel is what we go through after being discarded. my doctor wanted me to go to a hospital too i had promised her of i couldnt make it i would. i want you to promise me youll do the same thing if you just feel you cant go on or its too much for you. this is exactly what we go through or how bad many of us felt. i really thought i was going to die of the heart ache and pain i was in but i fought back with everything i had to not have to go into a hospital. ive been there before and i wanted to be stronger this time and i made it hun. it takes awhile, a few months before i got there to where i didnt feel this pain as strongly , i just held on. its a roller coaster ride is the only way i can explain it. sending him that message and looking at his fb and stuff has set you back again to day 1. i dont want you to feel bad about that i did it to. your not alone hun we all do this just about. you just gotta fight back as hard as you can and if you cant do it alone or without some help its ok. many of us have gone to a hospital or a therapist for extra help through this awful pain. i know it hurts so bad and i wish i could take that away but cant just can let you know ive been where you are right now and look at me now. i made it to the other side and there is another side for you to. i no u dont believe me right now but you are going to meet someone else some day and youll look back at this and wonder why you wasted your emotions on someone who wasnt deserving of them but for now i know it hurts so bad , it was the worst pain i ever experienced and i was broken. but for the first time in my life i made the decision that i was going too help and change the things in me i wanted to change or didnt like. you can make excuses for him all you want but i believe he is a total narcissist( maybe not a soc ) but a narcissist for sure and i dont say that unless i belive its true. to many details point to that. you wanting him to love you and show you attention is normal his respose to you is not. youve got to try and understand that and stop looking at your behavour as bad it wasnt , he did this so you would blame yourself and his bullshit is working just like he planned it please try to see that. try to get up and function it only makes it worse to lay there and stop looking at his stuff, leave it for now and no its only hurting you. its all smoke and mirrors girl your not going to see whats really going on they never show that on personal sites they show you things that they want you to think they are. he will hurt her to it always happens they always ruin shit every time in time. they do not change who they are for long they cant. it never happens. you are the lucky one you would have lived such an empty life with him be happy you escaped because you did. i really believe that.