im sorry your going through this there really is no way to love a sociopath without getting hurt its going to happen. its hard when its your child because what your supposed to do with these kind of people is go strict no contact and im not sure that is something you will be able to do. like I say its one thing when its a relationship its much harder when its your child. for now try to take care of you as much as possible and deal with your issues, its true that its hard to tell when drugs are involved it kind of robs the person of their soul but you say he fits most of the criteria. find a good therapist or yourself and start there. not for him , that wont work, take care of you.

Thanks Bellanomore,
I have written to him telling him that if/when he can behave well toward me that I will resume a relationship with him but until then I choose not to have anything to do with him. That, to me, sounds horrible to say as a mother to a son and it hurts me deeply. There have been times since that I have been sorely tempted to call him just to find out how far into drug use he is. I have stopped myself though because to call him would let him back into my life and the roller coaster I was on. I am trying to take care of myself but the guilt is so very hard to live with. I have talked to my therapist about it and he tells me that what I did was the right thing to do and the only way to take care of myself.
Thanks for your support. I really need it.

StephanieE, I can totally empathize as my daughter is a sociopath. She is 22 years old and i have completely removed her from my life. I have no pictures in my home, no contact information, nothing. It was the hardest thing and the easiest thing to do all rolled up together. She filed false police reports and a ridiculous order of protection against me which was thrown out by the judge. She orchestrated a drive by shooting on my home in an attempt to murder me. She poisoned my mother. She has no remorse. She is no longer a part of my life and I am much happier for it. You cannot fix him, no amount of love will fix him. Love yourself enough to walk away.

KimberleyMcDaniel, my heart goes out to you, truly. Your daughter is clearly very dangerous to you and your entire family. I wish I had the strength to completely cut my son out of my life.
I was in the hospital a few months ago and had my phone with me. He called but I couldn't answer the phone but I could text and texted him with that situation. He called no less than 10 times! I have spent 10s of thousands of dollars getting him out of the troubles he has gotten himself into and managed to navigate the interstate parole board systems to get his parole transferred to the state I live in so that he could go to the best rehab facility I could find. It was a year of research looking for it. So... After I got out of the hospital I got another text from him. It was terrible! He told me that I never did anything for him, never cared about him. He never even asked why I was in the hospital! He also accused me of only refusing to answer the phone when I was in the hospital to embarrass him and even threatened to kill both myself and my partner! He had been dangerously physical with me in the past so I didn't take this as an idle threat.
FINALLY I cut him off. Told him that he was out of my life until or unless he could clean up his act and start treating me and the rest of the people around him as they should be treated. I think it finally sunk in that he truly was a sociopath. I had a terrible time of morning the son I remembered as a little boy, so sweet and gentle and kind. I still wonder what happened to that person. That was about 5 months ago. I haven't heard from him since. I also haven't tried to get in touch with him. It is just too painful. I have a sociopath for a son!!!!! The only child I will ever have and there is a good chance that should he ever have children, at least one of them will be too. Thinking through my family, my father was a sociopath, his mother was one too and so is one of my brothers. God help me!!!!