Survivors of Human Trafficking Community Group

This is a group for people who have escaped and survived the experiences associated with human trafficking. You may have been forced into prostitution, been abducted and held captive, or been a refugee. Whatever your experience, this is a safe gathering place where survivors of human trafficking can come, speak honestly, and encourage one another. There is a glorious life...

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How to deal??

deleted_user
deleted_user
How do you deal with something like this. Whenever I start doing good and it feels like I'm finally moving forward away from my past, I get nightmares or constant panic attacks out of the blue, and it feels like my mind is dragging me back to that dark, awful place. A place of torture, dehumanization, humiliation and degradation. I get flashbacks, hours of sobbing, shaking, body memories. It's so bad that sometimes I get physically sick. And the pain, all over my body. I've been dealing with this for 3 years and I still get dragged back down. I want to get my life going, but it's so incredibly difficult when I'm trying to deal with all of this. Will I ever be able to move past this? Or will I forever be haunted by it? Please help me...
vicvicbenson
vicvicbenson
Kyle: Have you sought therapy? I know the initial instinct is to move "forward away from your past" but it's not possible. Your body remembers. Instead of trying to push it all down and move on, I think you will find great solace in embracing it and being gentle with yourself. Obviously, this should only happen in a controlled and trained environment with a therapist.

I think we spend a great deal of time trying to "let it go." We don't work that way. "Becoming at peace with it" and "letting it go" are two very different things. The first one requires a lot of emotional work and time, the second requires a lifetime of intentional repression that causes harm.

It sounds like you are having a lot of symptoms of PTSD. Those symptoms are curable if you do the work. I'm so very sorry that you are dealing with all this. I know some times the pain can be unbearable. Just try to hang on. Those moments of fear and panic do pass.

I highly encourage you to seek help and continue posting about your feelings. Writing is healing to the soul.

And no, you don't have to be forever haunted by it. It will always be a part of you, but there can come a time when you are ok with that. You must first deal with the feelings of shame, fear, guilt, and anger before you can arrive at peace. It's a process.

Hugs.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Thank you vic. My psychiatrist has been telling me to spend a set time doing healing work. I tend to become obsessed and spend all day working on it. So it's really helpful to try to balance my life between my past and my present. I am in therapy, which is really helpful. I've been doing much better since I started this post and I've been working really hard at my recovery.

Thanks so much for listening to me. You`re so wonderful and strong!

Hugs to you too.
vicvicbenson
vicvicbenson
Kyle: I'm glad you are doing better and that you have found a good therapist. Any time you need to talk, I'm here. You are amazing!