God bless her....Now comes the hard part... Going on after the initial high of getting out... This is one of the things I'm most interested in
I have seen this many times through AIDWYC... People do wonderfully for about 3 months and then crash... Eventually there's usually a civil suit so people often end up financially stable however that takes a lot of time
I wish that it wasn't such a game that no one was willing to lose... If it only came down to truly the facts and if the facts didn't match then you didn't want to 'win'
I'm so glad that she's released ... Huge hug rew...xo

I have found the same as Sun to be true. Life outside is much faster, much more complex, noise surround, open to choices with many consequences, and the brain goes on overload easily. Anxiety symptoms are not measured by the rules as they are in prison, so what sets off the "fight or flight" can overwhelm the entire person in just seconds (I've seen it, and was able to help, because I was observing the interaction, didn't know they were just out of prison recently, only that they were having trouble processing the huge amount of information being provided at breakneck speed by the person at the counter). It takes more than just the usual process of moving to spaces, and reentering the new culture, it takes bravery, courage, determination, and three months is also when the season changes (which adds to the sharp depression noted for some people).
I'm glad she's released, however, she has lost both children, and her grieving will be part of her daily living activities, in ways we can only imagine.

Prison life is actually slow and boring. You have almost zero responsibilities in there except to follow all the rules, many of which are petty and ridiculous. Prison is more emotionally taxing than physically.

Therefore, you go to work during the day and just hang around at night, maybe work a crossword puzzle, play some cards, or watch TV.

If an inmate is wise, he will ponder on what got him in there in the first place, what he wants to do while in there to learn about himself, and what he plans to do upon his release to prevent from returning. Prison can also build wisdom.

As far as responsibilities in prison---------------

The prison does your laundry. The prison feeds you----no cleaning up afterwards. Medical is taken care of. All your clothes are furnished.

There are no bills to pay. No car expenses or maintenance.

Now before you think, "Gee, sounds like a good place," think again. No heat, no a/c. Living with inmates you do not really like in a 7 x 9 cell. No freedom. Food barely fit to eat. Constant noise. No Wal Mart to go when you need something. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. Just a miserable existence.

I had some crackpot tell me the other day that prisoners had it better than normal people. I said, "Well if it is so damn good, why is everyone wanting out?" I then added, "If it is so good maybe you should spend some time in the county jail to see what it is like."

It is this adjustment from no responsibilities to a normal world filled with things which must be done that is too much for some guys, especially if they have been in a long time. This is why family support, both emotionally and financially support, is needed until the person can acclimate himself back to the real world.

I hope the young lady can do well. God knows she has been through hell.

rewdiazepam

Along with our previous discussion, I have found that people who have suffered an injustice just think differently than other people. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that their thinking has been changed---and they see the world differently--- because of the emotional ramifications of their particular injustice.

My lady friend and I think much differently when it comes to my conviction and subsequent incarceration. While she knows I was innocent and the "victim" tried to recant her story 15 years later, she tends to be much more secretive about my situation than I do.

I certainly don't advertise my situation, but I don't really care who knows or what people think.

She really does not want people to know. I think it is partly because she fears the reaction or the trouble it might cause when and if people find out I went to prison for first degree rape of a minor child. I just don't care. The people that matter, those that care about me, are the only ones with opinions I care about. I know I an never change some people's opinions, so I don't even bother.

When I was removed from the registry this summer, she immediately suggested that we take steps to get my name removed from the Internet on as many sex offender sites as possible. This was something she said "we had to do and the sooner the better." There was a lot of urgency in her voice. I did not really care and she could not understand that.

We think differently because my world has been much different than her world. She comes from a conservative family who has never been touched by a tragedy resulting from an injustice. Perhaps I would have felt as she does if this had never happened to me, but my false imprisonment change me forever.

We are certainly all products of our past environment and life situations.

rewdiazepzam

Rew, what you mention is so real. The perception of a by-stander in a case of injustice is about getting to the level of comfort they need to feel safe, and it's not important, not after the experience of the system failing, and continuing to fail. The thought that they care enough to want the perception to be the best they can get it is positive, however, as all of us who have faced the limelight of media resources being overzealous, we know it will never affect us the same as before.
I say by-stander, because if they were not where they were in their experience, their view would reflect where they were at in the moment.
Best wishes with your lady friend and this.
I agree with what you are saying about prison, however, the person I was working with, didn't mention prison, just that they needed to get the paperwork filled out so they go on their job search. Leaving out a lot of little details, basic. they had a sheet of paper with notes, and a folder with their information to use as needed. They were starting at the beginning, and already wanting to give up because of their by-stander's negative composure. It took just a few minutes and it changed their day for the better, which both of them needed, in that moment. It's not big, however, it showed me that so many emotions cover a single action, and what works in prison, may or may not work when released from prison.
I"m still wrapping my head around the fact that they do not see daylight in the local jail.
Thank you again for helping me to see how difficult it is for family and friends to accept the differences in thinking.
I doubt if you would feel the same way, simply because you are not angry bitter nor with danger anger, you have found your peace and tranquility with the false imprisonment experience. That shows a courage not many have seen, a bravery beyond compassion, and determination to live and thrive, no matter what.
A standing ovation, a round of applause, and a pat on the back for your willingness to share.