oh honey.

You need to do what is right for you! Can you seel your home and move into a smaller, more managalbe place? If you live in Michigan I can help you. Do you have to quit cokpletly or can you do a few favorite clients now and then to keep your spirits up?

I know the tax writoff is going to be hard to live without if you move but if you still work from home in any sence you should still be able to use it.

IMO - it's better to get this done while you are still able to do it. It may only get worse. I am so sorry

Hugs
Kallie

I'd like to sell my house and get out from under this overwhelming responsibility. I bought this place 10 years ago and turned a 2 room apartment into a beautiful salon about 7 years ago. I've worked so hard to reach this point of independence...only to see it all as a huge liability, now.

I NEED to get out of my current situation...ASAP. Trying to figure out how to make it happen has me close to tears and I'm not the weepy type!

I have a supportive family, but I live alone. I don't want to move in with anyone, either! With 3 dogs and a cat as the package, it wouldn't be easy, anyway.

Thanks for listening,

Cherry

aw poor you sugar

I know it seems all doom and gloom now, but itll be okay =) Like Kallie said, maybe moving to a smaller place near friends and family will help pick your spirits up, and hopefully this will make the pain better as I know stress only adds to it. Try to make everything manageable and in small chunks for yourself and hopefully youll be able to do a lil more everyday.

So sorry your not feeling great, hope stuff figures out soon xxx

Cherry,

You only have one son? If you do, or maybe have more kids, summoned them, tell them; "listen, I am sick, I can not do this for much longer and I need your help!' Have them help you with the things that you need to do in order to get things together for a garage sale, I don't know about you, but I tell my kids, "I spend 18 years feeding you, clothing you, and taking care of you, now is time for you guys to help mom!" and when I needed to move from the Keys to Miami, all of the boys came in and helped me move. if you don't soeak up they are not going to know that you need help.

I also live alone, and I have to do everything with the pain that I have. I have one dog and my dog is the best! I wanted more dogs, but since I live alone, there is no way that I can care for more. You mention that you have a salon on half of your house, have you ever thought of renting the chairs that you have in your salon, so that way you don't have to do so many heads and aggravate your issues? When we are in pain, and live alone, we need to come with ideas in order to keep food, bills, etc. paid, me I had to get a part time job, how do I do it? sometimes, I don't even know, but I manage.

Start preparing for social security disabilyty like I told you on another post. As a matter of fact, since you work for yourself, you can start filing, and get the ball on the road. Another thing, if your house is too big for you, and you need $$, you can always rent out a room or 2 to ladies that are basically the same age that you are, and that need a roof over their heads. You can screen them, ask for references, do a police check on them for free, etc., and that way u can help yourself while your situation gets resolve.

Take care,

I have 3 grown sons, but the oldest is the one who will take charge and rally the others. The boys have moved me many times, but not in the last 10 years. I really thought I would be here for the duration and I'm sad that it can't be.

Tyler, my oldest, is so busy with two businesses and three properties. He and his wife are so good at coming up with a plan so I know something will work. They have a cute little apartment that was just vacated in their building that's just around the corner. Their office is on the ground floor (so is the apartment I could take) and my middle son lives on the third floor of the same building. Can't get much closer to family than that!

My sister has a huge backyard and would love it if I put a mobile home there. I could be happy with that if the logistics with town water/sewar is feasible. That's being checked on, now. The problem is...I need to be able to continue paying the mortgage on this place, close the salon and find a way to pay for a new place before this sells.

I know it will work out...it's just more than I can handle right now. Even the planning is too much when I'm suffering and working.

Wis I could flip a switch!

Tippers advice is the best it sounds like you have a couple options,it sounds like you just need to decide which is best for you and your family will help and take care of the rest.Sometimes we have to step back and ask for help.Gentle Hugs.

This is exactly why I finally started talking about this here. I knew you'd all have good advice and make me feel like it's going to be ok. Asking for help is difficult.

Thank you so much!

Cherry I just went through all of this myself a wee little bit over a month ago and I thought my head would explode with all of the thoughts in it before I even moved! Somehow it happened though. I sold my place with the contingency that I had x many days to get out of my home that I sold so I had that time to deal with the water, electricity, moving, etc......................................... Also when you sell your home you get paid for that home and that money is there to go towards the costs of those water lines, etc....

I guess my point is that it's not the easiest thing to do, but it is doable! That was with me with 2 dead arms and legs! You can do this.

I don't regret my move, in many ways it's a lot easier on me.

Best wishes,
Toni

Cherry,

You can give a realtor you house so they can rent it, and manage it, that way you don'thave to be put through the pleasantries of finding a tenant, think about that.

Kind of in the same situation, only not working. We still have a mortgage, a double wide on 14 acres of land that's been in Hubby's fam. for generations. We can't take care of the house right now, things are piling up. My only son is in the middle east, d-in-law is sweet but no help. We just do the best we can right now. trying to put one foot in front of the other.
Its great you have options and a couple of plans in the hopper!! Try to just take it day-by-day!!! I know its hard to do. Believe me, I know!!!!

Cherry, sit back and take some deep breaths, your thoughts are in such a jumble that you can't think straight. It is heartbreaking for you, you have worked so hard. I am sure that everything will be ok, you would be as well not rushing into anything.

There is some good advice in this topic,

I wish you well.

Mart

Cherry...I am sorry that you are going through this...I know that we are all individuals..but, let me share with you my experiences as Friday is my last day of work

I am a fighter by nature...keep going and push through are my Mantras that I should have tattooed on each of my forearms.

I have had pain off and on since I was a late teenager...that was the first time my back went out and I ended up hospitalized in 50lbs of traction. Through the years, each time I had an "out"...I was getting progressively worse.

In May of 2010...my back went out. I have never recovered from that one. I am on a walker 24/7. I have a mobility scooter for "fun" stuff and "work" when I could get it there. I have spent more time crying in pain than I care to admit. I do everything from my walker---cooking, dishes, talking with people etc. My day is full of the chorus "ow" Ooohh" "ugh" "crap" and so on.

I have an excellent job that I love deeply. I work for the state and I make very good money. I am in management and I sit at a desk....I type and review cases. One week a month...I travel to other offices and review their cases....very simple job. It is NOT standing on my feet and holding my arms up and walking around etc.

It takes me an hour or more to get out of bed to bathe. I have to wait for my meds to kick in and my body to "warm" up so it does not hurt so bad to move. I get to work and sit in my chair and turn my computer on. My neck is already starting to burn and within two hours...the burn is so bad and runs into my shoulder. The sciatica starts shooting down my left arm and the numbness hits my fingers. TYPING and sitting at a computer sucks.

My hips are killing me...the pain...I can feel the bite of the arthritis and the burning of my joints. My SI joint aches...cramps....feels raw. My legs are tingling and my butt is numb---but that hurting numbness. My back is slouched because if I straighten it, I get shooting pains...but the slouching hurts too and it is stabbing me. I am constantly trying to get comfortable...I am constantly trying to change positions so I get some relief ...and it hurts to change and move and it hurts to just sit there and it hurts to change and move and it hurts to sit there.....the cycle has begun and it is not even 10 am.

I try and work, keep my happy face on and I do a good job. NO one wants to listen to my whiny BS and NO one needs to hear me complain---the job is hard enough. Plus, I am "in management"...so I have to be careful as to what type of face I project on a daily basis.

When I have to get up...I hold onto my desk and chair...the pain, the popping and snapping and crunching of my joints, spine, neck, etc as I start to move are like a sick symphony. Once I am up....I have to wait for a minute or two for my legs and hips "to work"....I know that sounds weird...but, it is like they aren't ready and if I move to quick I will fall. The first step brings the stabbing pain in my left knee and each step after that is a different symphony....but just as sick and painful.

The whole time I am doing all this ... I am fighting falling asleep in my chair for a moment or two at a time because of the medication and the momentarily comfortable positions I find myself in.

At 11:30...I can take another round of meds and "go to lunch". I quietly slip in the back of the building to the "sick room" and shut the door. I gratefully turn the lock and lay down on the bed. I don't know if the sheets have ever been changed on this bed and I don't give a damn! I lay down...creaking, moaning, miserable and put my head on the pillow...I used to worry about headlice...I don't care. I am sure that someone has had sex on this bed...I don't care. I slip into sleep. The relief to be off my butt, the pressure off my hips, my neck supported by a pillow...oh, like heavan. My lunch break is NEVER an hour...I sleep for an hour and a half to two hours sometimes...depending on what I need and what I have to do that day.

I know it is wrong...I know it is horrid...I feel more guilt than I know what to do with. I love my job and I need to be an example----but I cannot. I can't cope through the day without the ability to lay down and take the strain off my body. I can't cope without the nap too because it helps me not be so groggy in the day.

After my nap...I try and make it the next three hours until I am off work as I start the pain and creaking and everything from the morning all over again.

I crawl in my truck...get to my house...take my next dose of pain meds. I go directly to bed...kissing my kids and saying hello on my way in. They know the routine....they follow me into the bed room and sit on my mom's bed while I lay down. I lay there...resting my body and talk to them...they tell me about their day. I lay there and let the muscle relaxer and the morphine kick in...give my body 1/2 hour to 40 minutes of rest. I converse with my kids...laugh with them and try and appear as motherly as possible. I love my kids and their day is more important to me than my pain...though I have to battle to keep one in second place as they talk to me.

When this is over...and if my day is 'normal"....I go and cook dinner. I sit in my walker and my kids help me. They cut up salad and help get the pan and pot for me...or stuff on lower shelves or higher shelves or put pans in the oven. Just about this time...my mom comes home. After dinner is over...I try and play a video game with my son and listen to my daughters story that she wrote that day.

I am in bed by 8...grateful for pillows and more meds...and asleep by 9 or 10. Then...up several times a night. I get good sleep now with the morphine...but everytime I have to turn over--I wake up because of the pain. I also have to go potty a few times a night. The morning comes far too early and I start all over again.

This has been my year...getting worse and worse..harder and harder. My counselor has also given me the same instructions...and the mental cajones to get it done. I turned in my resignation last month and tomorrow is my last day.

I have no idea what I am going to do and I am sure that SSA will take for freakin ever and I am scared to death that I will be ultimately denied. There are people on here who have it so much worse than I do and they have tried sssssooooooooooo many different things that I have not. I refused an operation and I refused ESI's. Will that reflect badly on me??? I don't know. I know that I am not, will not and refuse to comprimise what my beliefs are and my fears and what I think is best for a "possiblity" that those things would help.

It is NOT easy, there is NEVER an easy answer...you just have to do it and figure out the rest later. I can tell you this though...I am deeply saddened that I made this choice only because I LOVE my job and the people I work with and financially it will be very challenging. On the other hand...I am feeling a huge weight being lifted from my neck...knowing that the struggle to act normal will be over and I can take more care of my needs and my pain and my issues.

The coolest thing is this...when I told my kids that I finally turned in my notice ...they both cheered me on. My son actually came up to me with tears in his eyes and said "thank you mom...I worry about you so much every day" and my daughter has it counted down on her calendar with happy faces.

You make the deicison that you need to make...but, remember....it will never be neat and pretty and sealed up with now wrinkles....its life and it does not work that way. It is messy and wrinkly and life does not have tape. You just have to put as much as you can in a carry on pouch and let the rest go.

HUGS my friend (and sorry for the lengthy essay)

gentle Hugs the right answer will come to you.Thoughts and prayers be with you,during this stressful time.