Can you email her? It may be too emotional to talk on the phone. At least through email you can write down all your questions.

Oh gee, I am surprised you haven't called her! I would have been FRANTIC that day drilling her with questions! Man alive, I think if it were me, I would have choked her, but how can I say that when I know you can't prevent SIDS, BUT it is so easy to blame someone else when it is such a HARD thing to have happen, a life changing loss. I was home alone when I lost Owen and although it has been 27 months, everything from that evening are still so vivid in my mind.
You need to know those answers, and I am sure she is wanting to talk to you as it is probably eating her up inside too. Although it will be emotional, it will be best for you both to hug and cry and talk about it. YOU NEED TO KNOW

I agree....you need to know everything that she knows. If it helps at all to ease your mind even the slightest. I'm sure she wants to talk to you, but is too scared to approach you about it. Does she still do daycare? I hear most quit after something like this. I think you need to sit down face to face with her and take as much time as you need to hear the story. Take moral support with you, husband, close friend, parents, or siblings. You will need someone to lean on but I really think you need to know. Please let me know how it goes when you decide to do it. love jessie

I think you should call her Brandy. I think it'll help you with your questions. You have to be curious about all of the details. Give her a call, I'm sure she is still feeling very guilty!!!! You guys can cry it out together.

Mine came to my house after it happened and we talked very candidly...we have talked to them and we talked to them on Audred th's first birthday...but othert than that it has been hard. I truste

Mine talked to me for almost a year after he died, now we've lost touch. It was very painful for both of us, i would think a face to face visit would be easier

I don't think she will easily forget the details of that day, some things are drilled in our mind always. I ran into the police officer who was assigned to our case a few months ago. He was extremely surprised to see my new daughter. He asked if I was pregnant with her when we lost Nick. I told him, no, it's almost been 2 years and he couldn't believe that. In his mind it happened yesterday.
I would talk to her soon though because hopefully you can have some questions answered and maybe you can find some peace.

I agree that you should talk to her. Austin was your baby and you deserve to know everything. I might suggest writing down your questions first so you don't get caught up in the moment and forget to ask anything that you wanted to. If you don't feel comfortable meeting with her and can't email what about writing her a letter. She may be more forth coming and it might be easier for her to process everything in writing.

My husband sent our daycare woman an email asking all the specific questions, when was the last time you checked on him, how was he laying, what did he eat, etc. She responded back and she has also stopped over a few times and gone over the details again.

More than likely Austin was just having a normal day but besides you and your husband Austin probably spent the next most amount of time with the sitter so she is just another link to him . Good luck whatever you decide ..

I agree, I think you should call her or stop by and visit. Our son still goes to the daycare. He has been going there since he was a baby and after talking to her about that day we felt that she did everything that she could to try and save Kaitlyn.

Thanks everyone. I think I will give her a call... I might make it my goal for the week. I know Julie did everything possible... she was great with Austin treated him like you would think a grandmother treats her grandchild.
I guess I just want to know more about him that day.. the good stuff, the funny stuff. At the funeral home, she told me that he kept trying to pull his socks off that morning - he kept taking them off, she kept putting them back on. We had spent the entire weekend playing that same game. That's the kind of stuff I want to hear. Thanks again everyone!

I would call her. I would want to know. My nephrew has a great babysitter. She has a journal for each child she babysits and writes in it everyday. The journal goes home with his kids everyday so they know just what happened each day. They know what they ate, how long they took their naps and what they did each day. She also takes quite a few pictures and puts them in the journal.

My daycare did that as well. I beelive that they took that page and her journal for the investigation. After it was ruled fine and that nothing was done wrong, etc, they gave it back. I actually let the daycare keep it as their momento of her. I made copies. They loved her so much...I never doubted that. And, I am so thankful for all that they did.

Well, I called her. It wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be. We didn't discuss Austin's death too much.. we are going to meet on Monday at 2:00 to talk about it.

Thank you all for your support!

Good for you!!!!

That's great.