Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Support Group

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is any sudden and unexplained death of an apparently healthy infant aged one month to one year. SIDS is responsible for roughly 50 deaths per 100,000 births in the US.

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Children's Physical Health
/ Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Support Group

cause of death question

elijah4
elijah4
Those who have read my journal entrys have read that I have had some issues in my support group because the mothers who have lost their babies to SIDS think they have it harder then me because my autopsy results for Elijah stated Cmplicating influenza a 2009 H1n1 viruse. It has me thinking. His manner of death was undetermend. Contributing factors was the H1N1 and cosleeping. Accidental suffication was ruled out. So what does that really mean. Did he die from H1N1 or what? If it was because of a viruse then shouldnt it be natural cause of death and not undetermend?

I have read that some ME wont put SIDS and use other coding like undetermined and SUDI. At first SUDI is what the ME said was gonna be on the final report but after the patholigist looked at everything they changed it. I just dont get it. I understand that I have some answers which makes it a bit easier I guess but truthfully I dont see the difference. I woke up to my baby not breathing and no heart rate so what really is the difference? A loss of an ifant is so life altering and horrid that I dont get why some moms in my local support group are acting like their loss is worse then others.

And really are any answers ever going to be good enough? I dont think so. Even if they told me he died because of this that and the other I still think I would struggle with wanting more explination like why my baby... why that night... and so on and so on.

Any thoughts on all this??????
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am learning that the coroner doesn't like to try to suggest a cause of death. Often they just write down all of the "clues" they find and then list the death as SUIDS. They leave it up to the parents to worry, stree over and try to figure out. It sounds like it was the H1N1. Otherwise, cause of death would have been suffocation. Your grief group sucks. Everyone in there lost a kid right? So everyone should be compassionate. To lose a child is to lose a child. Period. If they can't be compassionate, they are missing the point. Is there somewhere as you can go? They will just make you feel worse.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am not sure why your support group would think that their loss was harder than your loss unless they think you have a medical reason and they don't. Regardless, that is horrible and they should be so much more supportive. Like you said losing a baby is horrible, regardless of the cause, regardless if we know the cause.
It sounds to me like they think him having H1N1 made him more susceptible to dying of SIDS. But said cause of death was undetermined because that alone should not have caused him to die. Did he have a good pediatrician? If so perhaps he/she can explain it better to you. Isaiah's ordered a copy of the report and read it. Then he called me and talked to me for over an hour explaining it to me and answering all my questions.
ckdeedee
ckdeedee
I can't understand why someone would think because their child died of SIDS it should be any different. Death of a baby is hard no matter what the cause. Since, support groiups aren't plentiful, it would be hard to change and find another one. Ask them why they think they have it harder? Doesn't make any sense to me. Sending you a bunch of hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't know what exactly it says on the death certificate so this may not help. I know personally for me I didn't agree with how the printed the death certificate. They put SIDS but they also had unstable sleeping surface. I felt that this was saying I was a shitty mom and it was my fault. He was sleeping in a perfectly safe basinet with mesh sides just like 3 of his half siblings had before. They put that just because one SIDS risk factor is having blankets and I did have one in there with him. We live in a drafty house and he was about 8 inches off the floor. Anyway point is I went to a lawyer and had them contest the way it was written and I now have a new Death certificate that just says SIDS on it. You can always contact the person who did the autopsy and consult with them on what they found and why they put what they did. Most of them are really nice and happy to explain it to you. I hope this helps some.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I argued with the county attorney over Hunters cause of death and ended up hunting down the pathologist and making several phone calls before receiving a call from him saying that he had made a mistake. He had reported my son's death as a result of sepsis when in fact he became septic after lack of oxygen and due to trauma from CPR. It mattered to me that it was reported correctly because of all od the SIDS deaths that aren't and I think the numbers speak for themselves. If you are uncomfortable with the results, don't be afraid to dig and ask questions. In the end I felt good about my decision to argue. I felt like I was defending my son.