We are planning to reuse most everything of Charlotte's, but we lost her at the sitter's, not at home so we don't have any bad memories assoicated with any of her things. There are a couple of things we will keep separate as just hers like her favorite stuffed animal and a few outfits. It's just too expensive to replace the big stuff and most of it was hardly used, some not at all.

We will reuse everything we possibly can. I will find great solace in seeing my rainbow use his/her brother's things.

PS. I would have gone apesh** crazy on my mom!!!

First of all, Congrats on your rainbow! I know we've talked but I'm not sure if I congratulated you..lol
I have used everything of Sean's. Sean died at daycare as well so I don't have bad memories of the items at home. I love seeing Evan using Sean's things like the bouncy chair and swing. I have sweet memories of all my kids in them. I have my favorite clothes of Sean's packed away that Evan will not wear but he wears others. It actually makes me smile that I was given another miracle since Sean's death (meaning Evan). Big hugs!

Our rainbow was a girl so we didn't use much of Toby's things. In fact, aside from a few unisex outfits we're really only re-using the swing. We kept almost everything, though. The clothes that he wore I put in a trunk. I didn't even wash the ones that were in the dirty clothes. If the clothes had tags on them I gave them to people that I knew that were expecting. If the clothes hadn't been worn but didn't have tags on them then a local children's store took all of them and gave me store credit, allowing me to buy clothes for my female rainbow. That helped a lot.

I don't know what we are going to do with his bed or changing table. I am trying to think of ways to use them. Maybe use the back of the crib and attach it to a bench or use it as a rose trellis in the garden? I'm not sure yet. I took some of his blankets, pacifiers, and outfits and made shadow boxes that I hung on the wall. His room theme was "sailboats" and we have since taken all of his decorations and used them to outfit our office so that, in sense, he still has a room.

We went crazy with our rainbow's room. She got all new furniture that cost more than my first car. I know it sounds crazy, but for our first son and for Toby we shopped at secondhand places, consignment stores, and had things given to us. I made some things. With Iris, though, I wanted all new things. My reasoning was that I had just spent $3,000 on a funeral. It felt nice to spend money on something "fun" for a baby. It seemed like a lot, but if Toby had lived I would have spent that much anyway over the course of the previous months on diapers, wipes, clothes, doctors, and toys. What was the difference between doing that and doing it all at once?

Besides, I loooovvveee to shop. :-P

Well I will say you are a better person than me.If anyone touched my babies things I would have gone postal.That is a big NO NO!! I know it was your mom but really why would she ever think that would be ok...I did not take down makaylas crib until 1 year ago almost 3 years after she died..swings seats ect I put away for about a year and a half . Then I slowly gave them away or threw them out. I would not have wanted to use them again. Her dresser is the same way it was when she died.Her baby bag is still packed with the things that were in it when she died. Her dirty clothes are in a sealed bag. I have a hope chest at the bottom of the bed with all of her special things in it.. Mass cards, me's report, death certificate, the last outfit she wore..I cant seem to ever want to let go of those things.She was in my bedroom her crib and all so I did not have her room set up just for her. I think if I did I would not touch it.Good luck with your decision I know it is hard..so sorry for your loss..but excited to see you are having a rainbow baby something positive to look forward to..Hugs,Dorie

If it would have been up to me His stuff would have never been touched and/or moved. Believe me we got into a huge argument over that one so much so I didnt start to talk to her again until the personal things I wanted of my sons things I got back. In my opinion still It was so wrong of her but she thought she was trying to help. Which left me feeling numb from shock a lot longer. Had it not been for you guys I would never be as far as I am today. Im still fighting to have some acceptance about my baby boys death. As you all know some days are harder than others. Last night for example I was working part of a womans family had come in to rent a room from us. They were telling me that they were going to have a baby delivered soon from the same hospital my son was born at and pronounced dead in. Im getting teary-eyed as Im sharing this story. I never more in my life just wanted to SHOUT Good For You, My baby is Dead. I dont want to hear another word come out of your mouth lady. You lose an infant! come back and tell me how much you want to hear about a family that is waiting on his/her arrival of there new baby. I was thinking it didnt say anything other than hope everything works out and congrats. I didnt really mean to think it but I did. I only hope the best for them and anyone else. I wouldnt wish a death of this sort on my worst enemy. The thinking could have been my hormones talking. Ive been having crazy instant changing moods
swings just recent. I still have to take things one breath at a time. I have only told my husband other than you guys. My mom doesnt even know Im pregnant again and wont for a while In the mean time I just need to figure out what will and wont be used. Some stuff is obvious others not so much I dont want his daddy hurt by my decison but he wants me to decide rather or not all but a few things of to use or not to use. Everything of his was barely used. But memories are tied to it. so keep replying. I need all the support I can get.

We used almost everything of Jacob's things for Evan. Jacob also passed away in our bed and our mattress was thrown away days later.

The only items we did not use were certain outfits that I felt were "just Jake's" as well as any unwashed clothing/blankets of his before he passed away.

I took all of my children's pictures in their crib next to a pillow that went with their bedding. Even though I used Jacob's bedding for Evan I had a pillow made out of matching material so that Evan would have his own pillow to be photographed next to.

I will admit, I did feel guilty during the pregnancy thinking of using Jacob's things for another baby. That guilt went away when we brought Evan home. I knew Jake would have wanted that and we still had Jake's special things put away that were just his.

And, Congratulations!

With Tabatha we reused the cradle, pack n play, stroller, changing table and carseat.
With John it's been harder in a way. Isaiah didn't wear most of the clothes we were given for him because he didn't live long. Now that John is 9 months old I finally have the courage to put him in some of the outfits that were purchased for Isaiah. But, it's hard.
The clothes Isaiah actually wore, well most of them I didn't put on John. I just couldn't.
I also bought a new diaper bag when pregnant with Tabatha. I can't look at the diaper bag we used with Isaiah, it's just too hard.
The special blanket someone made for him is now Tabatha's. It just seemed right to give it to her.