Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Support Group

Sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) is any sudden and unexplained death of an apparently healthy infant aged one month to one year. SIDS is responsible for roughly 50 deaths per 100,000 births in the US.

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Children's Physical Health
/ Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) Support Group

Rant

Wyatt0712
Wyatt0712
Since I have lost my son sleeping in the bed has become a problem. We threw the bed out that he passed on. Moved everything around. Put a TV in there. Did everything we could imagine. I didnt even sleep in that room for the first couple of months. For my husbands sake I started sleeping in there. But I always do one of two things I lay there until he goes to sleep, not meaning too actually trying to sleep and return to the living room. Or this happens I do manage to fall asleep and end up waking only a few hrs later to return to the living room. I havent even noticed I have been doing this so much until My spouse said you never sleep with me anymore. Ive been sleeping on the couch or recliner for almost 5 months now. Cant stop even with my back starting to hurt during the day. Has this happened to any of you? I really want to go back to bed but it is gone to a sub conconious level. I dont relize I do it anymore. I just want some kind of normalcy. Im love my son dearly and Ive screamed it till Im blue inside and out. My energy has sunk and Ive become weak at his loss. I just want to get a good nights rest. I am so very tired all the time. Is reality hitting me home Ive truly accepted my son is never returning home. Altho Ive known this all along. Whats wrong with me? What am I doing? Did I not love him enough. Too much! Have I not lost enough? My heart breaks over and over and over. I miss my baby. Its been almost 5 months. I can remember the not so long ago. I didnt even notice almost five months since my world was shook apart. 5months my heart been shattered. Im still surviving. I never thought I would still be alive if I ever lost a child, however, I am wrong. Im just deeply wounded but still alive.
AmyChumbler
AmyChumbler
Well.... All three of us(me john and linsey) Sleep in our living room everynight. We bring our bed into the living room. We have done this since we returned home after collin died. We even changed rooms, my daughter in the room Collin died in and us in her old room. PAinted the walls, bought the covers for Linsey and myself. WE never go in there anymore. Our clothes have manged to stay in the laundry room in baskets. We dont use any of our bedroom anymore. Collins room is the same as it was, (besides me gathering all of his stuff and putting it in there) Im not sure how long we will do this. Honestly I dont care we are content with being in the living room. We will probably not sleep in a bedroom until we move to a different house. I dont know why we cant or dont. Linsey wont even go into to her room to play anymore. Not one of us wants to be in those rooms. So I have no advice on how to stop doing it, becuase all of us at my house do it. Im not sure what the solution would be. I know for us it will take moving. But we are not moving until we are ready to pack up his things :(
Wyatt0712
Wyatt0712
We could never change out our room with Cadyns. I couldnt stand the thought of putting him in the same room as his younger brother died in. Moving isnt an option my spouse is to attached. Moving would be a blessing, I think!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Five months into this miserable grief journey isn't a long time, not long at all.
Isaiah didn't co-sleep with us, wasn't even sleeping when he died, but my husband did sleep in the living room and me in the bedroom for several weeks after Isaiah died.
Looking back it was a mistake. I should have just slept with him in the living room. We really needed that added closeness at the time, but he just couldn't sleep in our bedroom for some reason. (kind of odd because Isaiah stopped breathing in the living room, but maybe that's why DH slept there, he felt closer to Isaiah there)
Maybe your husband can, just for a little while sleep in the living room with you until you are ready.
There is nothing wrong with you. Really, there isn't. It's just the bedroom itself brings back way too many painful, horrible memories. In time it will get easier.
Maybe you can just slowly build up the amount of time you spend in there. Like when you wake up instead of going to the living room right away, stay in the room an extra 5-10 minutes. Do that for a week, then the next week add another minute or two to the time you spend there.