I am five years out from a subarachnoid hemorrhage at age 44 that has left me with panic attacks, depression, migraines, visual or optical illusions (rapid flashing of lights and colors in my eyes 24/7) and emotional swinging between anger and extreme sadness. I have problems with overstimulation to the point where its very difficult to be out in public longer than about 2 hours. I find myself isolating myself in my home. I have been on numerous medications to try to help, the last one was Topomax which made me suicidal. If anyone out there has any words of wisdom I would love to hear from you. I am struggling to stay positive but its very hard. Prior to this, I was a healthy full time nurse, marathon runner, newly married and pretty happy with my life. I cant work anymore as a nurse, I am trying to fiugure out what I can do for work but the overstimulation issue makes it difficult. I know everyones journey after their stroke is different and I know Im lucky to be alive and I am grateful to be here but this is very hard. I am also entering menopause now so Im sure that isnt making things any easier. Does any of this ever get better eventually? I offered to divorce my husband last night because I feel so horrible that I cant be the person he married 6 months prior my stroke and its not fair to him to have to deal with this. He refused but I know this has been a game changer for both of us and I feel like we are just getting through our lives together. He sees a counsellor to help him and I just feel like I am dragging him down. Ok. thank you for reading this.
Yes sorry for posting so much....so.the *orders* in my head (*not* an outside voice coming in like pyschosis,but still a *voice) are still loud and demanding..."Do this/don't do that..."My pdoctdoc says this is NOT pyschosis but OCD.....Anyone else have OCD thoughts ordering you around??
It's that time of the year when the leaves are changing and Pumpkin Spice is in everything - yes indeedie, it's Fall and it's coming at you chock full of apple cider doughnuts and sweater weather goodness!If you love this season (and seriously, what kind of person are you if you don't - not that we'd be judging... okay maybe we might a little), what would you say are the best things about it? Or...