Stress Management Support Group
Stress management defines stress as a person's physiological response to an external stimulus that triggers the "fight-or-flight" reaction.Stress can be overwhelming. This community is for best practices in stress management.
Almost a year and half ago, the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with left me quite suddenly. I was completely blindsided and traumatized. Prior to meeting him I'd lost 90 pounds and was still losing. I also had been off my anti-depressants for several years. Since he left, I've had to go back on my anti-depressants, take anti-anxiety meds to sleep at night (thought that would get better but it hasn't) and I've gained back all of the weight I lost. I can't seem to care enough to get it together and start getting back in shape. I don't have any contact with him (he wanted to remain friends but that was impossible for me.) I get why he left, it had everything to do with him and nothing to do with me...logically I get it. Emotionally, I feel like I'm going to be alone forever. I'm in my mid 40's, have an adult child, have never been married and historically I haven't dated a lot. When my son was little, I was busy raising him and supporting us on only my income. I've always been independent and was ok with it until this relationship ended. Maybe because it's really the first one that I could truly see as permanent? I feel like I lost the love of my life and my best friend at the same time. He wasn't abusive, was incredibly supportive of whatever I was doing and I could talk to him about anything. He made me laugh a lot and whatever we were doing, it was just fun to be together. I can't seem to break this cycle of grief, depression and the stress that comes with it. I've tried counseling, books, etc. but I miss him every single day. Any suggestions?
Try connecting with others in the BreakUp and Divorce Support Group.
What you are experiencing is normal. I have been going thru the same thing for almost 2 years. My husband of many years decided to try someone/something new and announced it without warning. I have been devastated and having great difficulty coping. I have found great strength and support here at DS. Please try posting at that support group page and I am sure you will make many new friends and perhaps someone will have an idea that will help you out. In the meantime, I wish you peace and love as you deal with your situation. Hugs!
My suggestion is to practice loving you; accept that you are a wonderful valuable human being who is worthy to be loved valued and appreciated. I say "practice" because we have to remind ourselves that we are worthy to be loved
I fear when ever I read of relationships because there are two people involved and one can change their mind leaving their partner devastated. There is a song by Jackie De Shannon that goes "only love can break a heart and only love can mend it again." I think that is true so maybe join a dating site... but please be careful.
I never found real love again after my marriage broke down and I had a breakdown, now I have to protect myself by never totally trusting a relationship 100% any more and part of me expects the worst. I have given up on finding a partner and now it's just me and my dogs - they give love unconditionally. So I would say get a dog, they give you a reason to live because they rely totally on you. You are needed.
If you are a Christian I would suggest you approach your local church for support, remember God is Love and "only love can mend it again."
There are people out their quick to judge and make assumptions to fit their own agenda, it really is a jungle out there. So be careful, be positive you can do anything you want to so set yourself some goals - how about buying a dress a size too small and working on getting into it, it's not important if you fail - what is important is that you try...and you never know you may just get there - but do it because you want to not for others...
but please don't become a cat lady with 50 cats running around your house - promise me this with a cat it is different you don't own a cat they maintain their independence and there are too many cats in the world - sorry for being a bit catty: remember you are not alone, that you are strong and capable ready and willing to be what ever you want to be - not to impress others, but to be yourself. Think positive "I CAN AND I WILL" and you will become positive smile and you will never smile alone. Above all talk to your friends - even your doctor don't hide your feelings write it down - there are always others worse off than yourself so start a support group in your area for mentally battered spouse....the possibilities are endless and you could end up winning the Nobel Peace Prize for Mending Broken Hearts......