Stress Management Support Group
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Hi there...I need some feedback...
I work with 4 women who are all older then me, I'm 30 they are in their 40-50s. I am technically their manager, but I try to be as easy going as possible. I do feel strongly about some things and as soon as I try to put my foot down there is horrible resistance and nastiness that comes out. I'm not trying to be a young arrogant bitch...I have done each one of their jobs and have worked my way up. I respect them and their positions and never try to belittle them. They all get along and do things outside of work. I try very hard to write them nice notes of thanks and do small things like buy them a sonic drink, candy, remember their birthday with a gift...but I can't seem to get anything in return, not even respect when it comes to them listening to me. We get along when we talk about family, hobbies or silly things going on at work. But if involves them having to listen to me...not going to happen. Maybe I"m weak...I just have known young "pups' that work over older people and are bitches, I have never wanted to be that way, and have tried to make sure I never have. If I do do something that I feel might have come off the wrong way I apologize to them and restate what my intent was....Thoughts and Ideas needed...I honestly and truly am trying...why can't they see this... :( Thanks!
I work with 4 women who are all older then me, I'm 30 they are in their 40-50s. I am technically their manager, but I try to be as easy going as possible. I do feel strongly about some things and as soon as I try to put my foot down there is horrible resistance and nastiness that comes out. I'm not trying to be a young arrogant bitch...I have done each one of their jobs and have worked my way up. I respect them and their positions and never try to belittle them. They all get along and do things outside of work. I try very hard to write them nice notes of thanks and do small things like buy them a sonic drink, candy, remember their birthday with a gift...but I can't seem to get anything in return, not even respect when it comes to them listening to me. We get along when we talk about family, hobbies or silly things going on at work. But if involves them having to listen to me...not going to happen. Maybe I"m weak...I just have known young "pups' that work over older people and are bitches, I have never wanted to be that way, and have tried to make sure I never have. If I do do something that I feel might have come off the wrong way I apologize to them and restate what my intent was....Thoughts and Ideas needed...I honestly and truly am trying...why can't they see this... :( Thanks!
Have these other women ever been told by the principle/vice principle/dean or whomever that you are their manager? If they haven't then what you're seeing is resentment when you attempt to assert any authority over them. If they have been told but do not like your policies then it's you that needs to step up and put them in their place. You could do a personal one on one with each employee to establish ground rules or bring them all into one room and do the same. As long you have approval for this from the powers that be don't be so concerned about winning the popularity contest because some days you won't. Also, personal notes of thanks for a good job could be perceived as a condescending act.
I think the issue is that they don't believe that you have direct effect on their job duties and resent you interceding into their jobs. I would suggest sitting with your manager and getting a clear understanding of just how much these other women report into you and in what fashion; then ask your manager to ensure that these women are notified.
The principle is looking for you to take the lead without having to afford you the proper title and oh by the way; the pay scale to match it. This isn't about the principle not caring for office drama, she's actually asking you to do something that may or not be a job responsibility for your salary range. You should look into what your responsibilities are according to your salary range and job title.