Hey

So my boyfriend has been in jail for a month and a half now.. my anxiety has been off the charts. I've been trying to keep busy however I feel like I'm just getting more and more depressed. I don't do much with my days off anymore and the majority of my free time is spent focusing on him. I almost feel bad if I go and do things with friends even though he encourages me to. He doesn't want me to be sad or depressed but it's so hard to turn my feelings around. I think what's getting to me the most is not knowing when he will be out... not having anything to look forward to so we can talk about things and our future. His lawyer said worst case seniro could maybe be 16 months however I have no idea until he's sentenced and I honestly don't want to get my hopes up. You never know with these type of things they could charge him with something else last minute who knows. This has just been so gosh darn hard. I know I'll be okay in the end and I know he's not going to be in there forever but it still sucks. It's not something I ever thought i'd go through in my life that's forsure. 

When I met him our whole world changed. I helped him get clean when he had been using for over 12 years... and of course once he's clean and on the right path he got arrested for something that happened almost a year ago! I know my support and the fact that I have never done drugs is the main reason he's been able to get better. He never had support prior to me. His family is MIA and all his friends use and are involved in shady stuff. I love this man even with all his problems. He is one of the nicest people I've ever been with. He treats me so good and makes me feel good. Best thing of all we have gone through a lot already and the fact that it hasn't tore us apart yet makes me feel that much better about our relationship. Heping him get clean and get a job and his life together was not easy at all. At first I felt like his mother having to give him advice and stuff all the time and telling him what friends of his are no good. Now he and I both agree that I was right and it's in his best interest to change the way he was doing things in order to be sucessful. I've seen marriages fall apart over smaller situations so I have a good feeling this waiting will be worth it in the long run. However that doesnt make this easier in the meantime....

Any advice on how to get through this without going nuts and blocking people out. I don't want to get depressed thats the last thing we need. If anything I need to stay strong for him I can't even imagine what he's going through. I know me being on the outside is way way easier on him but at the same time he put himself there so he needs to pay the price for it. Me on the other hand I have always been a law abiding citizen and have nothing on my record I dont even drink or smoke let alone do drugs. Just sucks I'm having to deal with legal issues when thats far from who I am. I'm not used to any of this stuff and lately I feel like it's been lots of police, courts, dea agents, lawyers etc.... just not something I saw myself doing - another reason I'm feeling down I am really hard on myself. Doesn't help that I feel like my friends, family and coworkers judge my situation. I don't feel much support when it comes to sticking by his side. People have been so negative and I honestly don't want to hear it. It's hard enough as it is trying to think positive hearing other people say negative things just sucks and doesn't help me stay postive. I'm taking this situation day by day and I need people to be supportive not negative....

Any advice on how I can feel better for the time being?

Thanks for listening.