My hubby and i have been married almost 30 years now. We both had very stressful jobs.i had severe pms and ADHD and he's a natural worrier. I was raised in a house hold where people yelled and scream and people got crazy when there was problems.hubby was just the opposit. His family shut down and didn't communicate . I knew i didn't want to be like my family and i knew i couldn't deal with Mr Shut Mouth when ever we had a problem.......So I would tell him exactly how i was feeling. and advise him not to push my buttons. Being up front and honest about what YOU are feeling is important. Talk about how ya'll react to each other WHEN YOUR NOT STRESSED AND FRUSTRATED don't wait til your STRESSED AND FRUSTRATED............. make RULES for fighting and for interacting . One of hubbys rules is not to talk to him when he's reading or when he's upset ..one of mine is don't talk to me before I've had coffee and don't point a finger at me( i might bit it off). After all these years things still happen that make us both react poorly and say things we don't really mean But we know we love each other! try to always ALWAYS BE QUICK TO ADMIT TO BEING WRONG and know that your behavior and your words are the things you need to concentrate on. Your attitude will change his without you pointing out any of his wrongs. Any way.............. we're still together after all these years and there's no end in sight. Good luck to you and your hubby.

I have a rule that I will not speak in anger, which occurs when I am stressed. As hard as it is I walk away, as I cant take back the hurtful things I have said.
This does take practise and is very hard to do in the beginning. If my husband is the one starting the argument I call time out, lets cool down and then speak when we can think straight. Good Luck

Our usual remedies include:
1. Calming down long enough to TALK normally. Good luck.
2. Distracting ourselves with fun activities. It sounds nice, but....
3. WRITING it all out and exchanging letters, and continually writing it all out, huge scratching letters on the paper, back and forth, until we share common ground... this works pretty well, actually - NO TALKING ALOUD ALLOWED.
4. Hopefully I don't offend anyone, but.... "hate sex" works like a charm. Get it out of your system physically and make each other feel good at the same time :)

Number four is our favorite, and it works wonders for both stress and your sex life. You'd be surprised what you end up saying/doing/experimenting with!! Try it!!

I'm feeling like this is bothering you pretty deeply and I am guessing that you are concerned about the long-term health of your relationship.

I highly recommend a book called "The Lost Art of Listening" - easy to find in library or available to buy in paperback. This book gives good guidelines on dialogue and hearing each other out.

I would also suggest that you focus more on yourself alone since you have much more control in that area.

Questions you might ask yourself:
What is causing my stress? Anyway to decrease it with concrete action?

What works for you to decrease stress effectively - deep breathing, exercise, better nutrition???

You may need to experiment to find out - of course this group may be a good place to look for answers on how others deal with it.