Stress Management Support Group
Stress management defines stress as a person's physiological response to an external stimulus that triggers the "fight-or-flight" reaction.Stress can be overwhelming. This community is for best practices in stress management.
I feel extremely stressed about life. I'm now seventeen years old. I'm having major exams now til Mid May. I cannot account for what I have done in the past few years. I'm so not prepared for the exams... I want to cry every day. I know I deserve all this. I deserve to fail since I didn't work hard for many subjects. But I didn't really use all my time for leisure. I used most of my time to study Maths, further maths and read English news articles, wanting to perfect my writing. And these are the subjects that I really like. I aim very high in these three subjects but I seldom get above 90%, so I felt so useless despite spending so much time on them... For the other five subjects, I barely spent time on them. After each test or exam, I told myself I must work harder for all the subjects but I just couldn't... Many students here go to tutorial classes but I didn't. I want to study on my own but then I am super lazy. I actually don't like those who enter tutorial classes... But then now I know that I'm much worse than them... At least they spend time and money to improve themselves... I wish I could turn the clock back! Now I feel so hopeless, not just because I'm going to fail in so many exams, but I have no idea what I can be in the future. If I cannot get into university, I'm doomed. My family and all my classmates will sneer at me... I really don't think I can accept the fact that I have to take the exams next year again. Alongside all that, I look extremely young and is very short, totally unlike a seventeen-year-old, maybe fourteen or even younger. Actually, I wanted to be an actuary. You know to become that, one's academic results must be promising. I don't feel like that is an option. Then I don't know what I can be. I like writing but then there are so many people who write much better than me. I like maths but then I'm really not that talented... I don't think I can be a maths teacher... I am extremely shy and do not like to communicate with others... I don't think I'm able to handle certain situations in school... I thought about being a researcher but then my academic results are too poor... I'm at a loss about my life. In the short-term, I will suck at all my exams. In the long-term, my future looks completely grim... What should I do to calm myself down? These days I can't stop crying..... I also feel so frustrated and cannot concentrate on my exams... When I see that other students are much more mature-looking and taller than me, I feel quite intimidated... How can I relax? I don't feel like taking a walk because I'll have less time to study... I'm sorry if you think I deserve all this... I have no friends to talk to... I think I really need help...
I really don't know if I can say anything to help you, but I do want to encourage you to make studying a priority. You said several times how you're going to fail... that mindset will only make that the reality. Tell yourself you CAN do this. You mentioned that you can't get above 90%? Really? That is nothing to be ashamed of! That is a very good percentage, that's not failure. If you think you can do better than that, then by all means, make it happen. But if that is the best you can do, then you are doing well.
I can also see by your writing you have extremely low self-esteem. Do what you can to improve how you feel about yourself. Do some exercising, even 10 minutes a day will make you feel better physically and to not feel so "lazy" as you said. Also, look in the mirror and tell yourself "I love you. You are worth investing in yourself." It is not easy to do at first, but it definitely gets easier. Also, when looking in that mirror focus on the things you DO like about yourself, whether it is a physical trait or a personality/character trait.
As far as friends, you must have some people that you talk to that you could try to nurture a friendship with.... ask them to go hang out somewhere for a bit once or twice a week and try gaining a new friend. Take that first step and ask them if they'd like to go do something. My daughter goes two or three times a week with a good friend of hers to the park and they do hula hooping for about an hour. She feels so much better after she gets back and she is prone to depression and low self-esteem also.
I don't know if any of this makes sense or not, but YOU are the only one who can make yourself make some changes and make feeling better about yourself and your grades better. Blessings!
I feel as though I may be in a very similar situation as you are- I am a senior in high school who also has a heavy testing and study load until the end of May. When I find myself thinking about all of the things I could have done to improve my GPA or all of the studying I should have been doing all year to ease some of the strain on myself know, it is definitely frustrating. However, I think it's time we both stop thinking about what we could or should have done, because ultimately, we didn't. We need to regroup ourselves, reorganize, and kick our strongest foot out to give ourselves the best shot at tackling the workload ahead of us. While it is natural and usually unavoidable to compare ourselves to our peers with whom we are in constant competition with, I'm often surprised at how similar the struggles of even my most studious friends are to my own struggles. I've even heard of people complimenting me on my own ability to handle stress and keep it together under high pressure circumstances, while I personally know that I am a complete mess under the external facade of being calm. In short, just please know that 1. you are definitely not alone in the way you feel 2. our past mistakes will not completely hinder our futures and 3. even people who appear to have their lives together have their own internal battles they are fighting to look strong in front of others. I hope this was of some comfort to you; I know we can make it through this!
Thanks a lot for commenting!
These days I've been pondering over my life. I know I've trifled away 17 years of my life but then there's no point in regretting past mistakes. I still have a long way ahead of me. Instead of stressing over something in the past, I might as well focus on NOW. It is perfectly fine that I have the craziest goals. However, it is no use stressing or worrying about not achieving them. Even if I never realise my goals, at least I know that I worked my hardest and came as close to it as I could. Right now, I should just have faith in myself and trust I've done enough. : )
@ nkarapetian
Good luck on your exams!