Stress Management Support Group
Stress management defines stress as a person's physiological response to an external stimulus that triggers the "fight-or-flight" reaction.Stress can be overwhelming. This community is for best practices in stress management.
I don't know what to think or who to ask. I thought it would be best if I just asked a random group of strangers who are impartial judges.
I have been stressing myself out terribly. I cannot cope with coming to work. I may start out fine, but by the end of the day, I am stressed completely.
I will give some background:
I have worked with my nemesis for 15 years. She used to be my best friend. For the past year, she has been less than friendly to me and several other co-workers. I didn't know what the reason was for her distance all of the sudden. Well, I figured that out a couple of weeks ago. It seems she is jealous and angry over the fact that our boss gave me a title "Computer Lab Administrator" without offering it to her first. We both teach a computer class at our employment. She has been teaching them for around five years and I have only taught them for two years. My supervisor said she felt that I was more computer savvy and that is why she gave me the title. At any rate, for the past year, my nemesis has been rude to me, attempting to bully me into doing things her way, and talking about me with co-workers about how I fail to do my job. She also has badmouthed several other co-workers and our supervisor repeatedly but not to the extent that she attacks me. Several people, including me, had complained about her and she was given a verbal warning. After a week, she hadn't changed and there were several more complaints about her. She was given another verbal warning. We work in cubicles at our office. Her cubicle is located next to the printer that my cube section uses. I was printing off several forms one day and was paged that I had a phone call. I just went into her cube to answer my call as she was not here. When I turned to get a pen and paper to write with, there on her desk was a notebook that she was keeping filled with my activities at work. She was writing when I came in, when I went to lunch, if I called in sick, etc. This was just too much for me. After I discovered this, I copied pages for myself. I then wrote out a formal complaint against her and filed it. That caused a huge stir in the office. Since then, I am the one branded as the trouble maker. She was given a slap on the wrist. I have tried to contact the EEOC and file a complaint that way, but have had no response.
At any rate, I come in to work continually and have to listen to her complaining still. She had to teach computer class this month and instead of going in the lab and making sure she was prepared with all the passwords and all the computers were working, she blamed me when she was not prepared. She sat and bad mouthed me to other co-workers. Her voice is loud. I heard her plain as day. I had enough as I am constantly stressed just working with her. I confronted her about it. She then went and cried to the supervisor that I used profane language and that she was not talking about me specifically. She also stated to the supervisor that she blamed herself just as much as anyone else.
At any rate, nothing puts me in a bad mood as much as this girl. Just when I think I am doing better, something else knocks me down. Today, we had a meeting and the supervisor had told me she was going to address some changes. Well, the changes she addressed were not what she had told me she was going to do. My supervisor just showed me that she has no spine when it comes to addressing this girl.
Another co-worker told me today that she wants to quit because of my nemesis. She said that this girl is so rude and horrible to work with that it makes her day miserable as well. Then she said she just bucks up and continues as she doesn't want to let my nemesis get the satisfaction of causing someone to quit. I have sought employment elsewhere, but the economy doesn't have a lot to offer at this time.
I just want someone to tell me how can I deal with this stress. I try to focus on other things and then find myself being flooded with the stress and anger again. It is real work to make myself feel positive anymore. Maybe this rant alone will help. I have no one who I can talk to and get these feelings out anymore. I literally lost my best friend over something minor. I had nothing to do with giving that title out.
Any advice would be much appreciated. I need to find a balanced peaceful center in life again.
I have been stressing myself out terribly. I cannot cope with coming to work. I may start out fine, but by the end of the day, I am stressed completely.
I will give some background:
I have worked with my nemesis for 15 years. She used to be my best friend. For the past year, she has been less than friendly to me and several other co-workers. I didn't know what the reason was for her distance all of the sudden. Well, I figured that out a couple of weeks ago. It seems she is jealous and angry over the fact that our boss gave me a title "Computer Lab Administrator" without offering it to her first. We both teach a computer class at our employment. She has been teaching them for around five years and I have only taught them for two years. My supervisor said she felt that I was more computer savvy and that is why she gave me the title. At any rate, for the past year, my nemesis has been rude to me, attempting to bully me into doing things her way, and talking about me with co-workers about how I fail to do my job. She also has badmouthed several other co-workers and our supervisor repeatedly but not to the extent that she attacks me. Several people, including me, had complained about her and she was given a verbal warning. After a week, she hadn't changed and there were several more complaints about her. She was given another verbal warning. We work in cubicles at our office. Her cubicle is located next to the printer that my cube section uses. I was printing off several forms one day and was paged that I had a phone call. I just went into her cube to answer my call as she was not here. When I turned to get a pen and paper to write with, there on her desk was a notebook that she was keeping filled with my activities at work. She was writing when I came in, when I went to lunch, if I called in sick, etc. This was just too much for me. After I discovered this, I copied pages for myself. I then wrote out a formal complaint against her and filed it. That caused a huge stir in the office. Since then, I am the one branded as the trouble maker. She was given a slap on the wrist. I have tried to contact the EEOC and file a complaint that way, but have had no response.
At any rate, I come in to work continually and have to listen to her complaining still. She had to teach computer class this month and instead of going in the lab and making sure she was prepared with all the passwords and all the computers were working, she blamed me when she was not prepared. She sat and bad mouthed me to other co-workers. Her voice is loud. I heard her plain as day. I had enough as I am constantly stressed just working with her. I confronted her about it. She then went and cried to the supervisor that I used profane language and that she was not talking about me specifically. She also stated to the supervisor that she blamed herself just as much as anyone else.
At any rate, nothing puts me in a bad mood as much as this girl. Just when I think I am doing better, something else knocks me down. Today, we had a meeting and the supervisor had told me she was going to address some changes. Well, the changes she addressed were not what she had told me she was going to do. My supervisor just showed me that she has no spine when it comes to addressing this girl.
Another co-worker told me today that she wants to quit because of my nemesis. She said that this girl is so rude and horrible to work with that it makes her day miserable as well. Then she said she just bucks up and continues as she doesn't want to let my nemesis get the satisfaction of causing someone to quit. I have sought employment elsewhere, but the economy doesn't have a lot to offer at this time.
I just want someone to tell me how can I deal with this stress. I try to focus on other things and then find myself being flooded with the stress and anger again. It is real work to make myself feel positive anymore. Maybe this rant alone will help. I have no one who I can talk to and get these feelings out anymore. I literally lost my best friend over something minor. I had nothing to do with giving that title out.
Any advice would be much appreciated. I need to find a balanced peaceful center in life again.
I appreciate your comment tho, thank you!