My actual due date was March 14, but I was having a planned c-section since I had one with my first pregnancy. I was really worried about how I'd feel today, but I think the anticipation was worse than the actual day so far. I keep thinking, "Well, right now at the hospital, we'd be doing such-and-such...." but I'm trying not to dwell too much on that. My husband took the day off, and we went for a walk in a park named, ironically, Alexander Park. We also bought a ginko tree that we're going to plant in the yard in his memory.

I also can't help wondering how we would have reacted about discovering that he had Down syndrome, since we didn't know until after he was born. I imagine the day would have been full of all sorts of different emotions. We've actually had people tell us that his passing was a "blessing in disguise" since he had DS. Really? Losing our child because he had a disability was a "blessing"?! I don't care what he had, because he was joining a family full of love and open arms. I know they mean well in a strange way, but it really doesn't help to hear stuff like that.