EVERY single day. It seems like when people talk of thier children and you mention a memory of your its like you just said something snameful and everyone shuts down. Why cant we have happy memories of our babies like they have of theirs? are their children more impotant beacuse they lived outside the womb? I still think my baby was the most beautiful perfect thing I ever saw just like you think that of your lil Sophia. I never beleived in love at first sight untill I layed eyes on my son and it ticks me off that people think I shouldnt mention him because hes no longer here.. so no you are not alone on that one.

I found when I went through my first angel's birth my family members did the exact same thing, and i've come to realize that we're going through this every day, the grieving process the thoughts of our angel's in heaven. They don't, they don't dream the dreams we've dreamt for our angel's, they don't think of the lovely time we had with them, although short, I cherish every minute cause that was our time.
Give them time, as they aren't grieving the same as you. Continue to talk about her, my mom loves to hear stories of Dylan, though his time here was short she didn't get the time with him like I did.
Hope this helps, since our daughter's share the same name :) :)
Love and hugs -- Jenn

Yes - I get this all the time. I think people see it as upsetting to us and they don't want to make us feel bad so they think that by avoiding speaking of our babies they are somehow sparing us some pain. I too feel good talking about my baby but yes you are right - it does somehow have a feeling of taboo - as if I am doing something wrong...something I shouldn't be doing by talking about the time I was pregnant or sharing details of her delivery. I remember my baby so vividly - the first time I laid eyes on her - I was in awe and completely in love!!! I loved her beyond belief and I looked at her and held her and it was bittersweet but oh how I drank it all in. I saw how I could pick out so many of her features that matched her dad's or her grandfather's. My hubby picked out features that were like mine - and we dreamed the dream of all parents...the happy dreams of what would she look like all grown up; who would she favor in personality....you see these dreams are all we have. And it is so unfair that we cannot even share these thoughts with others. This is what makes this loss so hard - it is all so very lonely for us angel moms because there is so much we cannot say about our babies. When most women have a baby they talk ad nauseum about their labor and delivery; about those last moments of pregnancy - and yet we do not. We are cheated of a lot of things and that makes me terribly, terribly sad.

You took the words right out of my mouth! I want to cut and paste your post and email/fb everyone I know so they understand!!!!

The only people who acknowledge what I am saying about Ty are my other angel mommy friends who have been through this, my parents and my fiance. Everyone else I talk to kind of looks away or changes the subject, they won't say his name or acknowledge him, it sucks, it hurts. I hate when people talk about their kids and I try to bring up Ty and they just walk away or change the subject...like really?

oh, my goodness what a sensitive subject for us. Your baby died, it's not something we ever, ever get over. The majority of people can not deal with death, much less the death of a baby, which is not suppossed to happen, so they say stupid things because THEY can't deal with us. But WE have to live with it every day, year after year. Keep talking to us, we totally understand and know that talking and talking is part of the process. At work i have a picture of Liam and a picture of his gravestone. It comforts me and I don't care if it bothers others. (I do have it so it's only visible to nosey people that are peering around my desk... :) Hang in there, we are here for you!

if people can obsess over their live babies why cant we obsess over ours? They were STILL OURS! and we STILL LOVE THEM!!!

I feel your frustration. I think people are so very stunned with the subject that they don't know what to do. I think people have a fear that they will remind you of your sorrow. Like we will ever forget and they will suddenly remind us that our child is gone. I do not wish any sorrow on anyone. I am glad for those who don't know the grief. It just scares people so much. For the most part I don't think people are being insensitive they are in some way trying to protect themselves from the thought of something so sad.

I 100% agree with all of the post. Even my mom gets quiet and acts a little weird when I speak of Kingston. She always says "I dont know what to say." I just want to yell, "Your my mother, dont say anything just listen and agree."

Hey! We just became friends. Back many years ago. I had a baby stillborn. I truly believe my ex-monster killed it because she did not want my baby. I was away at a State trade school trying to learnb a skilled job to suppor out growing family. I had two more children by her. One, the oldest does not carry my blood but in all reality is still my son. My youngest one is near by now after 26 years of not knowing whether my sons were alive or dead. Their monster was drinking and drugging up my sons my Social Security Disability child support. By the of age of 14 years they finally found I was alive and getting support from via SSD. They got tortured for asking about it.

There is a enough shit in this world for everyone. There is too much crap if you ask me. O course, I know this has to do with God and God is Love & that's all there is. Life is not for me to understand it is only for me to Live. (Thanks you Robin)

People could not even begin to understand that I gave my stillborn baby my name before burial of the degenerated mass that was left of him.

RICHARD

I know what you mean, I keep getting surprised by who will listen and what they say. Its like I'm afraid to relate my baby to anything - some people immediately dismiss me or just look at me. Sometimes I feel like if I'm not sobbing, then people can't figure out how I'm able to discuss it. Everyones afraid to say anything - as if I wasn't already thinking of her every second of every day. Saying something isn't a "sore subject" it is only bad when you say something insensitive...