Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Struggling

Jp0210
Jp0210

Hi everyone.  I'm so sorry to hear about all your losses.  I had to deliver my son Mitchell on march 7th at 22 weeks. I'm having so many different thoughts and feelings.   Some days are ok and some days I really struggle. 


I keep replaying everything over in my head like I should have done something different. 


It was an unplanned pregnacy and I feel guilty for some of my feelings I had.  Like when I couldn't go away for my father in laws 50th birthday and that I was basically on bed rest.  I feel guilty that I didn't cherish being pregnant more and pay more attention to any movement I felt.  


Also there are so many people in my life right now who just gave birth and are due around the time I was.  I'm having trouble even dealing with them that I've been avoiding them.  I'm also nervous to go back to places we visited while I was pregnant.  We celebrated our 1st wedding  anniversary in Virginia.  I can't even think of going back there.  


Most of all I'm nervous about this happening again.  Or what if I can't carry a baby.  We really want to start a family and it's painful to even think this might be a continuous struggle for us.  


Thank you for letting me get this all out.  It feels a little better and I don't want to always say all this to my husband because I know he's gone through a lot too.  

Prapipi
Prapipi
I completely understand everything that you just said......becoz I went through all of these experiences just 11 days back wen I gave birth to my sweet stillborn baby girl on 17th March 2018. The stillbirth was due to a cord accident.....all the memories that were associated with the moments throughout my pregnancy...which used to fill me with happiness....have now now turned into something that just make me cry ...... I am just trying to stay strong......and yes evening I want to start trying for a baby as soon as possible....because we really want to become parents.....but my doctor has advised me to wait for a year before conceiving.....as I have undergone a c section......My prayers are with you and I hope you are blessed with a sweet baby very soon...stay strong
bec88
bec88
I can relate to your story as I also had an unplanned pregnancy which ended in my son being stillborn at 34 weeks in January. At the start of the pregnancy I was crying all the time wondering what I was going to do and now I resent every moment I wasted feeling anxious and sad as this loss is so hard to accept. You might surprise yourself with the other mothers having babies around the same time- I was honestly dreading the births of my friend's babies and hoping that at least they'd have girls but once I saw photos of them and met one of them it was really cathartic and yes I cried but after I calmed down I held him and noticed how much he looked like my friend - it's never going to be the baby you lost and once you realize that it's a lot easier to cope and be happy for other people- to a point- I'm not telling you how to feel I'm just talking from personal experience- I also find it helps talking to other mothers about your birth experience becuase although ours didn't end with a live baby the experience is still shared and our babies deserve to be acknowledged for the short time they were alive. They existed. They mattered. They were still born. When I hear about a birth going okay I also feel huge relief because I know what it feels like to have a worst case scenario and you wouldn't wish the pain of this experience on your worst enemy. Be kind to yourself and enjoy the memories of his kicks- those can never be taken from you.