Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
At 39 weeks on June 8th 2017 we planned to do an induction but upon awakening that morning I did not feel the baby move my stomach felt differently. I told myself that I was crazy and we proceeded to the hospital with our over night bags in tow. We couldn't wait to bring home our 2nd baby girl.
When we got to the hospital the nurse tried to find a heart beat and was having a difficult time locating it. At that point my face was still I knew deep down that my fears were reality.
I looked at the cross on the wall and wondered why.
We proceeded with the birth of our baby girl. She was absolutely stunning. I got to hold her for the next few hours. It was like she was sleeping I'd say wake up baby. But she never did. How was I going to tell my loved ones waiting so eagerly?
How could I let her out of my arms after holding her to never see her again.
I'm so blessed that I have my two year old at home keeping me going. But I have very little strength, my mind is always thinking of that day.
Would someone wake me up from my nightmare.
How do I resume back to normal life?
I keep hearing that this will get easier and less painful over time. It's hard to believe, but I suppose we have to allow ourselves to be ok with moving forward or being happy again. Right now, I don't want to allow myself any happiness, it feels wrong.
As a ultrasound technician myself I understand that this happens just never thought it would be me. I can't even tell u how many patients iv had to tell that there was no heart beat. .....
It's hard to see other moms out with there newborns strolling around I get this feeling of jealousy because my heart breaks.