Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
Hello everyone,
I found this group searching the internet for answers or stories of anything related to what me and my bf are going through.
The start of 2018 was nothing like I ever thought it would be. On January 2nd 2018, I had my glucose testing and regular checkup with my doctor. So excited as usual to here our baby girls heartbeat and do some of the last testing for the 3rd trimester.
I don’t think anyone prepares you for this type of pain. The doctor used the fetal Doppler as usual to listen to her heart but she couldn’t find it, I didn’t even worry cause she was active a lot and also my placenta was in the front. When the doctor said we are going to do a ultrasound never did I think something was wrong, everything had been perfect. The moment the doctor pulled up the ultrasound and I didn’t hear anything my heart dropped. She invited another doctor in to help her find the blood flow on the smaller ultrasound machine. I knew something was wrong, I was then brought to a larger ultrasound room and there was our babygirl on the screen not moving and no heartbeat.
I cannot even tell you, hearing the words there no heartbeat I will never forget. January 3rd not even 24 hours later, I gave birth to her by c section, she was breech and this was the safest way possible.
I will never be the same person and I really want that feeling back of carrying this beautiful baby girl, it is so hard to see other woman pregnant and children too. It’s an emptiness I feel will never go away.
I am hoping my story, can bring more woman to this group for us all to support each other. The reminders and pain are so fresh but I know talking about it will only help the healing process.
Prayers always. Day by day I just keep telling myself. If you don’t mind me asking do you plan on trying again soon? I have this void that’s so fresh and I miss the feeling of her inside my tummy.
Thank you! Big hugs too you as well!
I just thought I would share that my husband and I had a memorial for our son a month after he was born still. We went back and forth about wanting to do it but ultimately I felt it was something I needed to do because I really wanted to acknowledge what happened with everyone in my life, and acknowledge my pain with them. I didn't want his existence and his loss to just fade away.
During the memorial my mom read a letter she wrote to our baby, my mother-in-law read a poem she wrote, my sister read a poem, my uncle played a song on his guitar, my aunt read something she wrote. And both my husband and I spoke. I explained the name we chose for him and what he looked like, and asked everyone to keep him in their memory because they never got to meet him. I highlighted a few special moments during my pregnancy.
We also gave out candles and asked everyone to light it later and think of our baby. And I asked people to write their unspoken words to our son in a journal I had kept during my pregnancy -- not many people did this but he received a few beautiful messages. It was all so very healing for me and my husband, and I think it was also healing for our families because it gave them time to grieve too.
I hope you are able to plan a memorial for your daughter and I hope it brings you some peace.
I am here if you ever need to talk, I can so relate looking at the incision on my stomach brings back so many more reminders and also the emptiness I feel.
Nothing prepares you for this and it’s very hard for people to understand. I wish this wasn’t real and I feel so sad and angry.
I want the void I feel, filled. Nothing will ever replace her but we had so much ready and my baby shower was suppose to be in a week and half.
I’m just heartbroken
I am so sorry you went through so much pain physically because it’s so hard to deal with on top of the emotiona pain. My time in the hospital I was so numb it didn’t seem real for about 3 weeks. It was such a blur but delivering your baby and the room is silent, there is no worse feeling.
I just got more tests back and my doctor said they think it was for sure CMV which is very similar to a cold but if you acquire it while pregnant it’s called primary cmv and it can cause a stillbirth or them to be born deaf or many other complications. It’s super rare and she said a total freak accident. I have never felt so empty but it gives me peace to know we both can have a healthy baby. I really try to think positive but right now it’s very hard. It’s very hard I’m here for you