I am having the same kind of struggles when I see pregnant women. A baby crying in a restaurant threw me into a full blown panic attack. I have been unable to go back to am ob gyn office because of seeing pregnant women. I am in a support group for grief and daily strength. The only thing that helps is if I get someone who knows how I feel to talk to. That helps because they usually know what to say. It is so hard. I feel like since late January when I lost them all I've gotten is worse. I am very sad too.

You've found a great support group here. The women who come here are truly wonderful, thoughtful and helpful, but most of all they are supportive. I'm one of the women who posts here whose loss was a long time ago, our little Jane was stillborn August 9th 2002. I didn't start coming here until late last year. I had mostly worked through my grief by that stage and I am at peace with the horrible experience,but I can still remember being where you're at right now. Having breakdowns out of the blue or when I saw babies or pregnant women . Going back to the hospital that she was born in to see the obgyn was also a big trigger for me, it was all just so desperately sad, it was crushing and crippling and my heart was just shattered. I think that what you're feeling sounds pretty much like a normal reaction to such a devastating experience. It takes time to grieve and time to heal and finding support groups is a great step in beginning the process, I think it helps you not feel so alone, grieving the loss of a baby can feel so lonely and isolating because nobody can understand unless they have experienced it and people don't want to talk about your loss because it makes them uncomfortable. You can spill your heart out here and everyone understands and will talk about it. Best wishes, I'm thinking of you and I'm so sorry that you lost your little Amelia.

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't have any advice, but I delivered my son, Alexander, sleeping on his due date, on 12/13/14, and I can relate. The experience has broken me. I'm so sorry you have to endure this. I've found that emotions come rushing in just when I think I have everything under control. What you are experiencing is normal, and unfortunately, the rest is the world just doesn't get it. I imagine it was extremely difficult being around other pregnant women. These things just aren't supposed to happen.

Thank you all so much. I honestly thought that I was making improvements. I've been around coworkers who are pregnant and I even went to a baby shower a few weeks ago, though it was far from a "traditional" shower. It was really just a big party filled with people that don't get to see each other on a regular basis so i had lots of distractions.
The biggest hurdle that I feel I was able to kind of overcome was to be around my nephew. My sister in law and I were pregnant at the same time and she delivered my nephew a month before I lost Amelia. Until maybe 2 months ago, I couldn't stand to be around him. Every time I saw him, I cried for 2 weeks straight. My husband tried to shelter me for a while, even during the holidays, but after new years we had to make an appearance. I'll never forget that day because everything was going fine until my husband picked up my nephew and my nephew started to give him kisses on the cheeks. I RAN out of the house.
I think I closed myself off and I put on this brave face because I know most people don't want to or aren't able to handle this and I don't want to isolate myself. I try to keep everything matter-of-fact but all I want to do is cry.

I just joined today, for the same reasons. My ob/gyn is worried about how i'm handling my grief. My daughter was stillborn at 33 weeks on April 14, 2015. I thought I was doing ok until I had to go back to the ob office for a follow up appointment. My husband had warned me that I would see pregnant women, but it was like every time I turned around there was another lady. I broke down before I could even check in at the desk. They escorted us to a room so I didn't have to stay in the waiting room. It didn't help that the assistant that was sent in to our room was very young and didn't know the difference between a miscarriage and a stillbirth. She kept on asking if everything had come out already and if I passed "it". Besides my feelings on Evelyn, I'm dealing with feeling guilty for relying on my 4 year old son too much. I'm ashamed that he is placed in the position of trying to comfort me and my husband.

It truly hurts my heart to read what you're all going through right now, it hurts because I have felt these emotions myself and they are soul destroying. One thing I want to say to all of you with recent losses is that I thought for years that my feelings of devastation after Jane's death were abnormal, because no one talked about it, I was made to feel that I was somehow overreacting to my loss, that I should have gotten over her more quickly. I just bottled it all up because I almost felt ashamed of my emotions. I lied to doctors and said I was fine, when I wasn't, I became very good at hiding my grief. The situation was complicated by the fact that I was blessed with my rainbow baby less than a year after Jane died. Somehow a new baby was meant to erase the grief I felt for my first daughter, and of course, it didn't. I'm not saying it didn't help, that would be a lie, but I was still grieving silently. I can honestly say that it wasn't until I got internet access and looked up stillbirth support groups, and ended up here that I realized I was normal, that my extreme grief had been totally normal. I guess my point is this, even though I am so terribly sorry that you have all had to find your way here, I am glad for you that you know your emotions and reactions are normal, that some unfortunate people do understand and that you're not alone in that oh so dark place. Best wishes, you are all in my thoughts.

Going to my OB's office is the worst! I went on a rant afterward last time about how I'd been going to the OB for 15 - 20 years of life before I ever got pregnant so I KNOW women go that aren't pregnant. I would swear that every woman in the waiting room - and it was packed to the gills - was either pregnant or had a new born. (It's especially hard for me because our very first visit to that particular office was also the day we learned of our loss.) It really doesn't matter where I go, though. Seriously, I was at a bar the other day and a woman walked out that was 9 months pregnant. I try to escape reality by watching my shows but every time I turn one on another character is announcing "I'm pregnant". I can only hope this will abate in time. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of this.