Eli was my first and only son. It's being a year and close to 3months since I lost him. When people ask me if I have kids I said, Yes, however, he is in Heaven. And than they dobask me what happened and I don't mind sharing my story. I also tattoo my self with a baby angel sleeping on his wings. And with a quote that says " I will hold you in my heart until I can hold you in Heaven" Eli

Don't be afraid to answer, share your story people need to be more aware of losses like ours. People usually don't talk about and keep it to them selves. It helps me talking about it.
Hugs your way.

I love talking about Kowen even though I cry every time I do I love talking about him and reminding our family and friends that he is my baby and always will be a part of our family, I feel like mothers who have their babies get to talk about them so I should get to also.
But this was the first time that I would have talked to a stranger about him. And even though I had planned out what to say in my head I still froze for a second. My husband wasn't there either and he's defiantly my shoulder to lean on when I'm having a hard time so I'm sure that had to do with it. But I did leave that situation thinking, "why did I freeze?" "I had a plan for this." I guess it will get easier with time...

I lost all my children to miscarriages and Ava and Phoenix were later on at 22 weeks. They didn't even try to recussitate them even though I've lost five before. They didn't even care. Some of the nurses acted as if I'd been through nothing. I'm sad because someone recently asked me when am I ever going to have kids. I told them in tears what happened and they had the nerve to suggest my babies that I loved more than anyone in the world "weren't meant to be" when they were supposed to be here. I love them and always will. I talk to all my babies every day and feel they can hear me in heaven. I am still crying and it's been almost a week. These people also made rude comments about having a baby and about my age. I don't like any of those questions. I break down still nine months after.

I hate the comment , "It was meant to be". No I don't believe that for one second!! I don't believe that God created my beautiful baby boy just to take him from me, it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes things happen that are out of God's hands, bad things happen all the time and they're weren't, "meant to be"! Something caused my son's heart to stop something medical that science hasn't figured out yet but I don't believe for one second that losing him was meant to be, if that's the case then God is knowone that I want to worship or believe in.

The other day my husband and I were at Target looking at baby items something I have not been able to do since being pregnant. I am 17 almost 18 weeks now and showing like I am over 20. We were asked if we had any other children and it was very hard for us to answer that we have one little girl in heaven. They did ask what happened and I told them our story and how we lost her at 22 weeks just 6 months ago. The woman then told us her story about how 15 years ago she also had a stillborn and she knows how hard it is to be pregnant again so soon after. We talked to her and her husband for well over an hour and it really helped ease a lot of my anxiety about this pregnancy.

I hate that question I never know how to answer. If I say one I feel horrible because My son counts he's just in heaven. But I hate telling my story about how I lost him. And I don't like the looks I get when I say I just lost my son 8 months ago. So now I do what my husband does n just walk away lol I know it's not right but I'm just not in the right place to have a break down with strangers anymore.

yes, this is a hard question for me too. I have two just one is an angel in heaven. I feel wrong for saying I only have one but then I dont wnat to deal with the insensitiveness that comes with saying you had two and one's in heaven or however one chooses to word it....I dont know the answer. I told the exterminator, after he ask if we had more kids, that yes we did but she was stillborn a few months ago. He didnt know what to say....

I still have family members who wont discuss it. Like its forbidden to discuss my daughter... I dont want her forgotten so I can talk about her.

And what do you guys say to the family and friends who repeatedly ask " how are you doing?" GAH im doing my best at this grieving shit but literally falling apart inside... i dont know how Im supposed to be doing because i never wanted to experience this and i am new to this experience....& its not one I ever want to encounter again.

I usually just tell folks i am trying to live a different normal...I feel like no one really cares anyway when they do ask.

It is a hard question, and for mothers like me who lost their only child to stillbirth is more difficult. Many people don't even know I was pregnant, and how much I am trying to have a baby. Most of the times I get a question when we are going to start a family with comments like I should not wait for so long. I just stay quiet as people just don't understand. I want to say I have a baby in heaven but I just cannot give details to strangers. Yes to close friends I do tell them the truth and mention my baby, but they too react uncomfortable.

Thank you all for your replies, this is a question that I think will always be hard for me...for all of us to answer just because the response from other people are so out of our control. But I have been practicing to myself saying, I have a daughter at home and a son in heaven. I know it's a question that will continued to be asked so I guess having my reply ready will help, we'll see...

It's a question we will always be asked. I have a 4 year old, a 1.5. Angel, and 3 month year old. I sometimes say i have 3 and sometimes say i have 2. I always feel like i'm lying when i say 3 but its just the truth. Especially when people say " you look great for having 2 babies!" The fact is my body had 3 full babies. I lost my daughter valeria at the very end. But i still have stretch marks from here....a dark spot on my face from here...and of course more pounds from here. The fact is we had them and there are ours, even though in heaven. It's not like when someone loosing there mothers for example, is not like they never existed....they're just somewhere else. So i think any answer is fine. I personally see my child like a private family guardian angel.