Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Donzygirl 08/26/2009

As I posted before I lost my perfect little angel on August 14th. My boyfriend and I live in a different state and so I called him and told him she didn't have a heartbeat. He called me the next day making sure everything was going okay with the labor and I was crying telling him that we will always have two children and he tried telling me that an abortion is the same as a still born. I just can't get over this. Later that night I had called him and told him that I needed to come out there because I just need to be around him and I want our son to be around the both of us and all he can do is tell me how he doesn't have enough money for us to come there and if I want to come out there I am going to have to go and get a job. I'm so hurt, mad and angry. I feel so alone, so empty. How could the one person that is suppose to be there for you through anything not even care? He also said that he needs his own time before we come out because I've been too wanting since this has happened. What am I doing wrong?

deleted_user 08/26/2009

You are doing absolutely nothing wrong. You deserve someone that will be there for you no matter what. Im so sorry you are going through this. Hugs.

TaraMyers 08/27/2009

Bless you heart, I don't know how I could have went through this without my husband beside me. You haven't done anything wrong, is sound like he is the one with the problem. I agree with the above post you deserve much better! No one deserves to be treated like that. If you need someone to talk to I'm here. = )

deleted_user 08/27/2009

He is behaving very badly. His job is to protect you, love you, care for you - and at a time like this his only only concern should be to wrap his arms around, create a shield and hide you from the pain of life right now. We are all here for you if you need to cry, scream, vent - anything. I am just so sad for you and sending hugs and healing energy.
- Pia

deleted_user 08/27/2009

He is acting ridiculous! You are doing nothing wrong no matter how much it feels like it sometimes. Maybe he is having trouble with his own grief, but he's still being very unmanly. A good father is NOT suppose to act like this. Praying for you all...

deleted_user 08/27/2009

I agree with everyone else. You have done nothing wrong. He should want to be there for you. Do you think he may be afraid to see you? Like maybe right now when you and your other child aren't around he can act like nothing happened, like it isn't real and then if he sees you and your other child it is going to hit him?

I'm not making excuses for him, I think he should be there for you no matter what. I can't imagine having to go through this without my husband. If he can't afford to send 2 of you to him why can't he come to you? What was he planning to do when the baby was born? I'm sure his work offers some kind of leave.

Sorry for going on and on, this just irritates me. I hope he comes to his senses.. we are all here for you

deleted_user 08/27/2009

We are so sorry to hear for your loss, i know that last thing you you probably want to hear is that without someone next to you/us is how we couldn't have made it through this. But honestly it's the truth if it wasn't for my wife i would have been in a downward spiral. I am so sorry that your b/f is acting this way.

and there is a HUGE difference between a abortion and a stillborn, if he doesn't know what the difference is, there's a couple of screws loose in his head.

much love and prayers are coming your way from our family.

deleted_user 08/27/2009

I'm sorry that you are going through this, sweetie. You are NOT doing anything wrong and everything that you are feeling IS normal. It's hard for me to imagine not having your partner there with you through the most difficult time in your life. I don't know what his problem is or what he's going through right now, but you should be a priority. You don't deserve to be treated badly. Please take advantage of this site and try to find comfort in that we are all struggling with grief. You are NOT alone. We're all here for you whenever you need to talk.
Hugs,
Tiffany

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