To add to this my Mom told me I was being selfesh cause I got upset and didnt want to see any pics of their new baby yet.. I just want to know if Im being wrong?How do I make them understand why I am just not ready yet to see their baby?

If my sister did that I would be upset too. It's sad but true that quite often people really don't understand when it comes to having a still born angel- that you are a mother now, they are an aunty etc, and people really don't know how to respond, or just say they most insensitive things. Hard not to slap peeps sometimes!

It must be so difficult having a brother that has had a baby so close to your loss, I can't imagine it.
You will never forget your son. And he DID live, just not on the outside where everyone could see him. Sometimes I like to say my son lived for 9 months- all within the shelter of me. Almost like the perfect life as he never had to deal with the nastiness of the 'world'.

Did your sister post the pictures as her status update that then ended up on your wall, or did she post direct to your page? Facebook can be a minefield. I hate seeing my friends baby pic updates, and belly pic updates. They just post on their own wall as their status update, but it goes into my newsfeed, so I end up seeing them without them probably thinking twice that it will end up on my wall and affect me.
And then there's when friends comment on other people's baby pics, and that ends up on my newfeed as well! Arg! Yep, facebook can really suck when you're trying to avoid babies! Of course you're happy for people, but we can't help the trigger it causes for our grief.
And getting upset with people who take things for granted is normal too.

Have you made up much memorial stuff, like photo albums, framed pics etc? It can really help with acknowledging your baby and your loss, and having them up around the house means other people will see and acknowledge too. Does your sister and brother have copies of pics or footprints of your son?
It's ok for you to remind them that they are aunty and uncle to your precious one and you need them to acknowledge that. While you are so hurt, it may be hard to talk about it without getting upset. Maybe a note with a pic of your bub? I don't know, just a such a hard situation.
I hope your day gets better. Maybe try and stay away from FB and find things to do that are soothing. It's such a raw time for you, take care of yourself.
xx

Oh gosh, I just saw your post about what your mum said. Ouch.
Sounds like your family really needs some education about still-birth!
It's NOT wrong of you to feel too upset to see the new baby or pics. It's the normal reaction that so so many of us feel, quite often for at least 6 months!
Was it only a week ago that you lost your baby?? Because , wow, you will still be going through massive hormonal let down, and the after pain of labour. Seriously big hugs to you!
I don't know what country you are in, so don't know what organisations to direct you to. But there are pamphletts out there which have lists of things of what NOT to say to grieving parents, and explain to families what will be 'normal' for you right now, and how to support you. And under normal, is definitly not wanting to see baby pics of others or seeing new borns!

It's not up to you to make them understand. But getting some information to them would help, and then it's out of your hands.
Surround yourself with people that DO understand, and only do soothing things for now. xx

I can definitely see how your sister saying "I became an aunt" is very thoughtless and hurtful. I can understand them being upset about their babys foot. I of course would rather have my baby living with club foot than have him in heaven. But we all want perfect babies and im sure they worry about her.
I can understand you not feeling ready to see the baby and they should respect. My hubbys cousin had a baby two days after my sons passing and I didn't see her till she was a month old and I didn't want to hold her. Im very happy for them but it reminds me of everything im missing out on. That's hurts.

Truely sometimes families are the worst... are you having a funeral? Maybe seeing the little casket will make them realise that they have a grandson and a nephew. I signed all my christmas cards from my angel, everyone else gets to sign on behalf of their babies, so why not me? It's so hurtful, especially that you have a new member of the family so close to your LO, when you do talk about the new baby, talk and compare stories with your brother and his partner, normally I would think to be a bit sensitive, but it seems like the whole family needs a wake up call. Tell them your birth experience, and compare how the new baby looks with your LO, tell them where you found good deals on diapers, and open their eyes to the fact that your LO did live, and is significant. I agree with Gembaby, thinking up some nice ways to memorialise your angel would be good too. Hope it works out... sending hugs to you in this time.

Thank u all for the advise. I decided to make a lil area in my living room just for him for everyone to see. I hung his pic below a shelf and put hings of his on the shelf. Like his monkey piggy bank with the few dollars he got for xmas, his stuffed monkey toys, the first book I ever read to him, his ashes and bootys. Now everytime they come over they cant avoid that he was here and my son. And the hospital did give pamphlets but I think only my dad read them.I sent my bother a text congratulationg him and told him that just cause I am not ready to his new baby does not mean I dont care. I do care and love her very much and I know Max is in heaven watching over her.If they need anything not to hesitate to ask..Im still her auntie no matter what.

Im so sorry. Ive desided people have no clue how to deal with mothers like us and have no clue how their words could affect us. Im sorry your sister wrote that, Id like to argue that she didnt mean it quite that way...but it just sucks all around.

Families are the hardest sometimes because they just do not get it. My sister is pregnant with a little girl now, she will be the first little girl in the family since my Bethany died. It is so hard because Bethany was supposed to be the next little girl and now shetalks about her daughter ALL the time. I understand how you feel and I am so sorry. My sisters due date is Bethanys funeral date....UGH....I am so sorry. You are not wrong, YOU need to do things on your time...there is NO time table for healing.

I know how you feel. Twins were just added to my family on the 18th of Jan. I didnt think I was ready to deal with seeing pictures or anything. When i got the text It just said the babies were fine and there weight and length. After a few hours my sister asked if I wanted to see the pictures and I told her to send them I would look at them when i was ready. I felt bad for feeling that way but thats how I felt. My mother kept asking if I was ok and that made it worse. Two days later i did go to the hospital to see them and held them and I was ok. I thought I would cry but I didnt. I know my Riley is with me and has my heart in her hands. I have not seen then since that day, and everyone seems ok with that.
Hugs to you
Janay