Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Sad Valentine

80days
80days
Last night at my Valentine's Day dinner, my hubby and I talked about our little lost babies. With the first one, my stillborn son at 24 weeks, I had to terminate our pregnancy. I've been having alot of trouble with that lately. I could have gone full term with the baby if he survived that long, but the docs said that he would have suffered throughout the prenancy and birth. So it was my choice to end the pregnancy. It hurts so much to think that not only did i terminate him, but i also killed him on the inside first. He had many health issues. The doc said that i must have had some kind of virus that got passed onto him, and thats what caused it all to happen. When pepole asked me what happened to my son and i tell them he was stillborn, they think i didnt terminate him...just that he died on his own. Has anyone had to do this before? how did u cope when people think bad of you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am so sorry that you have to be faced with such a terrible decision! To determine whether to carry a dying baby to term, or whether it's better to end the poor little guy's pain early, is an impossible place to be. He's still your son, and you wanted to best for him. Your little boy is in heaven.

I do hope that someone who has been through this and will be able to walk with you too- how to deal with the guilt and forgive yourself, how to share or not share with with people , and how to interact with people who don't and don't want to understand.
luvmyangelc
luvmyangelc
I have never bee faced with that decision, but I can honestly say that I probably would have made the same decision if I had been faced with such a horrible choice. You had to make the hardest choice that any human being would ever have to make, and you chose to end your child's needless suffering, so please be gentle with yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I cannot imagine having to make this decision. You are such a strong and loving mother. You did what you had to do for your baby boy. You ended his suffering and sent him to be your angel. As for other people judging you, SCREW THEM. Until they are put into that position they have no room to talk or make judements. We all lost our babies and it makes me sick when i hear people comment about how they would react or what they would do or how they would handle it. I have people thinking that I am crazy right now. Nobody knows anything until they have experianced this kind of pain. I am here for you and support you.