Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Rough year

Abodish8
Abodish8
So this year has just been awful. In april my grandma had a stroke and is now in hospice. In july my best friend and sister in law passed away from a 9 yr battle from breast cancer. And just 2 weeks ago I gave birth to my stillborn son who was 21 weeks. Im really having a hard time being positive. I work in customer service and most customers knew I was expecting and everyday I am at work I have people all day asking me how im doing or asking when im due. I just dont know how to deal with all this sadness. I just want to quit and move just to get away from the constant reminders . I think about my baby boy all the time and wish I had my sister in law here to talk to. How do I act normal? Hoe do I go on? Just need coping advice
gemsandjules
gemsandjules
The old me would have comforted you by saying that your sister-in-law is in heaven holding and loving your son. The me who lost my beautiful daughter, Gemma, at 39 weeks on 11/9/12 is not as sure. This is a very difficult and lonely path to walk. Not many people will know what to say or they will say the wrong thing. You will have bad days and terrible days. Try to just take one minute at a time. Make sure you are taking care of yourself. That includes eating. Most people say they have no appetite and this is very true of most of us, but make sure you do. Your body needs to heal first.

The emotional pain is another story. The only thing that has brought me comfort has been the other women here who have gone through this. Don't expect to act "normal". Your life is no longer normal like you knew it. You have to learn to adjust to your new normal but that will take a lot of time. My advice would be to read through the old topics and to write in your journal on here. Having support from people who are going through the same thing makes me feel a little better. It is just so fresh for us. Some other angel mommies on here have endured this pain longer and have much more insight. Hugs and prayers for you.
Abodish8
Abodish8
Thank you. it helps knowing im not alone!
AngelJeremysMom
AngelJeremysMom
Wow I too know how you feel, in the past few years I lost my Aunt and my mother to Cancer, Grandmother and Grandfather to old age, a close friend to a drunk driver and an uncle to depression and then my 12 year old dog on top of everything else :( but when Jeremy died I completely lost it, no pain is as great as loosing a child. For weeks I just slept and hid in my home crying but one day I completely broke down and knew I couldn't handle it anymore so my Doctor sent me to a private therapist who just listened to me, he said I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and told me to stop avoiding things that stress me but instead face it straight on. So I marched right into Zellers and walked around the baby section for half an hour and then continued to place myself in those stressful places till I wasn't having so much anxiety about it, It's been a year now and yes I still have my bad days and my REALLY BAD days but I've learned that to keep going you just have to face your troubles head on.
BTW I know my mother is in heaven holding Jeremy's little hand as he takes his first steps on his first birthday and I know your Sister in law is rocking your little angel to sleep and taking great care of him.. you will see signs that they are with you when you least expect it..
Abodish8
Abodish8
Im so sorry that you have been through so much. Thanks you for the support.