Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
I sat next to the pregnant girl in my class today, again. We were just chatting about finals and blah blah. I mentioned that I was used to the stress considering that I've been in college for over two years and she asked about when I had my baby. She knew that I had been pregnant last year, but for some reason I just couldn't tell her about the stillbirth until today.
It felt good to just BE A MOM!! To have someone to giggle with about how babies stomp on your bladder, about exhaustion and cravings. It felt good to be allowed to talk about my pregnancy and be a normal person, not just some "poor girl" that everyone feels bad for. I got to bond with another mom. Until she found out today.
She's still nice, but I can see that look now... we all know which one. And the I'm sorry-s and the pity. Its sad because i lost that little pretend world where i could talk about pregnancy without being looked at like stillbirth is contagious or something was wrong with me.
This girl is like 6 months along. She was rubbing her tummy today like she was uncomfortable, and I just got this flashback of feeling that. I remember six months, when Sophia was just getting big enough to hurt me when she spun around. When the heaviness gets uncomfortable sometimes and you ALWAYS have to pee.
Has anyone else just sometimes let someone think your baby lived, just to avoid talking about it?
It felt good to just BE A MOM!! To have someone to giggle with about how babies stomp on your bladder, about exhaustion and cravings. It felt good to be allowed to talk about my pregnancy and be a normal person, not just some "poor girl" that everyone feels bad for. I got to bond with another mom. Until she found out today.
She's still nice, but I can see that look now... we all know which one. And the I'm sorry-s and the pity. Its sad because i lost that little pretend world where i could talk about pregnancy without being looked at like stillbirth is contagious or something was wrong with me.
This girl is like 6 months along. She was rubbing her tummy today like she was uncomfortable, and I just got this flashback of feeling that. I remember six months, when Sophia was just getting big enough to hurt me when she spun around. When the heaviness gets uncomfortable sometimes and you ALWAYS have to pee.
Has anyone else just sometimes let someone think your baby lived, just to avoid talking about it?
But I have the same feeling as you regarding "the look." I am going back to work on Monday and that is my biggest fear-- "the look." I am a high school teacher so I will have to face students and co-workers alike. I sort of know what to expect, but I don't know how well I am going to handle it. Part of me wants to pretend that it never happened just so that I won't get the "sorrys, etc." But at the same time I never want to forget--
Reading all of these posts it is nice to know that I am not alone. And I hope it makes you feel like you aren't alone either.
Thoughts and prayers to you!
I sometimes think if it was not for my husband and my daughter id be a crazy lady waking around with a baby doll.... ill give those wemon a little less judgment. Maybe something happened to their baby and they couldn't handle it.
It is my understanding that no matter how bad we feel now, with time we will learn how to coexist with our loss. If only this time will come.
Hugs!!!
Nneka