Hi Sarah95, I’m gravely remorseful that you’ve had to join the rest of us in this group and my condolences for the loss of your sweet baby girl. I, too, lost my firstborn baby girl to preeclampsia at 28w1d. Similarly, her dad’s aunt had an experience of the same thing and he’s also had a previous miscarriage with different partner before. I’ve been told and have read that preeclampsia is genetically linked to the father, though there’s different medical sites that say different things for the causation of preeclampsia so I don’t know how to take those “findings” or what to feel from them. Your fears are understandable, your sadness is too but don’t allow those things to keep you and hold you hostage like I’ve begun to. That’s what I’m fighting to veer from and I’m losing the battle. I don’t want you or anyone else to ever feel quite like this but you may already. So do what you must to grieve, however have hope that the next time your baby will be fine. Find strength in knowing that your baby is watching over you and try not to get lost in the fact that she’s not here on earth with you. Easier said than done, I know. After all I’m not heeding my own advice.

I hope you find strength in this somehow nevertheless, Sarah95. My prayers are with you in this time. Sending love and hugs.

Hi Sarah.

Your pain and your anxiety are perfectly normal and understandable. I am so sorry that your sweet angel has joined mine; that she never opened her eyes earth-side. I, too, lost my baby girl at exactly 34 weeks due to HELLP Syndrome (a form of severe preE). Your loss is still so new and so raw, and my heart aches for you because I remember.

For what it's worth, I want to share a little of my journey with you in the hope you can draw some comfort and reassurance from it:

I lost my Evangeline in March 2015. In March 2016, I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy rainbow baby boy. The whole time I was pregnant with him, I was anxious. I did kick counts obsessively, and every time I went in for a clinical visit, I held my breath when they placed the Doppler or ultrasound against my abdomen. I carried a lot of emotional baggage surrounding Dopplers and ultrasound, because it brought me back to the moment they found no heartbeat. I second guessed everything I ate, and everything I did. My pregnancy care involved a daily baby aspirin start at 14 weeks, since low-dose aspirin has been found to affect the way the placenta grows, helping to ward off one of the underlying causes of preE. I bought urine dipsticks and tested my urine at home (the military bases' protocol was not to routinely test urine if a woman had no symptoms, despite my preE being asymptomatic). It was a looooong pregnancy, full of worry. When I hit the 34 week mark (which also happened to fall on the 1-year anniversary of Eva's passing), I had my baby shower to surround myself with family and friends so I wasn't alone. 2 weeks later, my son decided it was time to be born. When he came out, opened his little eyes, and let out his first wail, it was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. A little over a year later, in June of 2017, his little sister was born.

While my success does not negate or minimize your concern, I share my story as someone who has gone through the same hell and has emerged on the other side of the rainbow. Part of my coping mechanisms has been that I am a L&D nurse and student nurse-midwife, so I understood the medical explanation and the odds I had going into future pregnancies. When my anxiety and fear reared its ugly head, I fell back on my knowledge and rational mind to get through. I would be more than willing to help you walk through your experience, make sense of it, and share what I know/answer your questions about preE-- if that would be helpful to you.

One day at a time, you will survive this. You are a stronger than you know.

I am so very sorry for all of your losses. Words cant explain. I lost my daughter a week ago to preeclampsia. She was my 5th child and I never had high BP before, during or after any of my other pregnancies. Nor, during this one. It was a complete shock and noone has any answers as to why it happened. In my heart I believe its my age. I am 41, 13 years between my last pregnancy. I am sorry that I cannot offer any good advice on the subject as I havent discovered a reason yet.