They will always be special to us. People say they felt so much love because I cared about them a lot. I had a lot of love for them. More than I can write and people can even think about even. They felt that their entire short lives.

My husband said something very similar to me in the first few days after Jane died,but I was so full of anger and guilt that it took me a long time before I found any comfort in his words. I suppose it highlights how clearly he was thinking and how clouded and tortured my thoughts were. Those first few days, weeks and months are nothing short of horrendous. Please know when I read the posts of those of you ladies who are understandably still immersed in grief, that my heart and thoughts are with you. It's such a cruel and unfair situation to find yourself in. I recently came across a quote that I just love and I'm going to use it with a picture of Jane in the style of a birth announcement. It simply says, YOU will always be my favorite " WHAT IF" hugs and best wishes tonight to you all.

That's what my husband keeps saying to me...Emma never knew anything but love. Never an angry word, or irritation, or sadness, only love, happiness and excitement. In the time she was with us there was never a single second that we didn't want her. This was my husband's eulogy for her (English is not our first language so I'm sure it's lost some of it's flavour in the translation)
'Emma never had a chance to experience this world and that's incredibly sad. She never had the opportunity to experience our love for her. But I started thinking and realised that it's simply not true. In fact, it's quite the opposite: she experience nothing but love. Isn't it wonderful to think that there was no negative worldly influences on her? Her whole existence from the very first to the very last heartbeat was pure love and we find some comfort in that. She was innocent, pure and simply put a bundle of love.
From her Mom singing songs to her in the car, to the story books she used to read to her, to my half an hour analysis of the Springbok rugby team with the three of us bundled into bed when she used to squirm around (probably didn't agree with Dad's analysis). Never even a single angry word. No, nothing but love.
The last thought I want to leave you with... Isn't it beautiful to think that the best days of our lives still lie ahead of us, and how comforting to think that we are slowly putting the most difficult days of our lives behind is. It might feel very far away but I know that someday we will smile again.