Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Need Strength

Secretkeeper2
Secretkeeper2
Hello all,

Today my husband will pick up Stephen's ashes, I certainly hope that I feel slightly better having him "at home" as opposed to not knowing "where" his tiny body might be. Also, I am heading to the doctor for my appointment tomorrow, with my mother in towI HOPE i do not feel further annoyed by her questioning and inability to remain quiet. I also hope the doctor can provide me with some answers as to what happened to my baby, but if not, I hope they will be able to tell me if this will be an ongoing issue. I am not set one way or the other about having another child, though I would love to, I don't think my husband will be on board, and I'm not sure if it would be disrespectful to the memory of Stephen to do so. Clearly, thinking straight is not something I am up for right now, regardless. Please send prayers or simply good thoughts my way as the next two days are sure to be rough ones for me

Thanks,
Nicole
deleted_user
deleted_user
I picked up my sons ashes on Monday October 14,2013. My doctor was not helpful with answers nor was his autopsy. Bringing him home was very emotional. I felt better that he was home I felt like he was home. I would cry and hold the urn when I would feel down I just keep trying to remember that he is my angel watching over me. I feel your pain I was in your shoes a month ago. Things get better but you will always remember. If you ever need to talk. Please feel free to contact me as we are going through it together
Motek18
Motek18
It felt a lot better when we got our daughters ashes. As far as the doctor visit, I was just irritated because I hated being around all the other pregnant people.

But it does get better. Just remember to cry if you want to cry. Be mad if you want to be mad. And talk about your baby if you want to. Don't let anyone tell you how to grieve.

We also tried to get pregnant again right away. And yeah, I felt kind of weird and afraid that it would be like a bad thing. That our daughter would be angry or something. But now we have a 4 day old little girl, and it has helped us heal a ton. We haven't forgotten our first daughter, and we are sad. But we are over the moon with our new baby.
deleted_user
deleted_user
We lost and delivered our daughter Mina on Oct 18th. The next week seemed like an eternity leading up to a 1 week check up and picking up her ashes at the funeral home, which both happened the same day and exactly 1 week later. I felt some relief to have her home with us. And I have to say the following 4 weeks have gone faster, though they are all kind of blurred together and time is doing weird things. Tomorrow will be 5 weeks for us- I should be 32 weeks pregnant instead of 5 weeks post delivery. Hugs to you to find strength, and feel free to reach out whenever.
And if you want your mother in law to shut up, tell her. I've found it's maybe the 1 time in my life I've actually put myself and my feelings first, and everyone that is close to you will know that it's justified. 5 weeks later I still have days where I feel like I am being a complete bitch but oh well. Be patient with yourself; that's what I keep telling myself.

Side note- Congrats to you, Motek18!
Secretkeeper2
Secretkeeper2
Oh, if only it were my mother-in-law! I have no problem telling her to shut it. It is actually, "my MOTHER in tow." I have a harder time telling her to be quiet, especially since she has taken up all my daytime jobs since Stephen passed. I know she is simply concerned and trying to be supportive, but I will not be able to contain myself if she drives me crazy today!