Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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My son Connor

CocoCorr
CocoCorr

March 21st 2017 was the worst day of my life.  I woke up after a night of feeling him move inside me to no movement at all.  I was due to be c sectioned on the 23rd. Only had two more days to go.  I was 39 weeks and 2 days.  Went to the doctor because I hadn't felt him that morning just to hear his heartbeat and be reasured everything was ok.  It wasnt. The doctor couldnt find it and from that second on I went numb and haven't felt a thing since.


This is the worst experience  of my life and not sure why my body did this.  I had a placental abruption. They say its nothing I did but he was 9lbs 3 oz 20.5 inches of healthy baby except my body couldn't  keep him alive for 2 more days.  I dont know where to go from here.  Any words of wisdom or things that helped others would be appreciated.

BabyV
BabyV
Wish I had an answer but I don't. I too lost my baby girl at 21 weeks 1 day on December 7, 2016. I'm here for you if you need to chat. Please don't blame yourself. There's nothing you could've done. God must have needed an angel. At least that's what I tell myself daily. I have my good days and I have my bad days. God Bless you.
Jujubean
Jujubean
Our timelines are similar. I was 39+4 weeks, last time I felt baby was 3.22 and 3/23 at the doc it was confirmed he had no heartbeat (regular OB appt). They induced me and I delivered him dead that day. I know how your heart aches. It's fcking awful. I wish I could go back and do something different or asked for an early induction or just something. Doc said there was no apparent reason for this happening. I feel for you. And I am so sorry we have to live this very tragic event. It is so unfair.
momatheart2715
momatheart2715
What I have learned in the 6 weeks since delivering our daughter asleep is that I did nothing wrong. It was hard at first, I blamed my body. Why wouldn't you have delivered her before she passed. I cry a lot and then there are times I just look at her photos to remember her beautiful face. I still stuggle with why did this happen to me but I know I'll never know that answer. Stay strong ❤
mrsallison
mrsallison
I am with you in your pain and numbness. March 7th I lost my son at 41 weeks, two days before we were to be induced.
I have no answers either, I only know that we have to go through the days, there are no shortcuts.
I am angry a lot, I cry a lot, I have a lot of hatred towards nothing in particular.
My body let me down and ruined my dreams.
I write a lot, sometimes that helps. I hope you got to hold your boy, I will treasure the short time we had together. My son was also big like yours, he was 8lbs 9oz. I look at his footprints and marvel at how such big feet were inside of me.
The labour was so hard and so painful, but in a way I will also treasure that time too.
I hope time passes for us and we can find the light again.
xo
CocoCorr
CocoCorr
Thank you all for your kind words. I have read them each a millions times. Each one helps me in a little way each day. It just feels so cruel to take a otherwise healthy child from loving parents and a family that already adored him so much. My husband has been my rock and my 15 yr old girl has a strength in her I could never imagine. I am a older mom at almost 37 and there are days I worry I am too old to try again by the tims my body has healded and the OB gives us the ok. Other parts of me are terrified to even consider it. Thank you all again for the support.
momatheart2715
momatheart2715
While I'm not an older mom I can tell you I'm just as scared to try again. We have been given the okay but we are going to wait a couple of months. I loved being pregnant and hope I can enjoy it just as much this time. I'll never understand why anyone has to go through these situations but hope that we can all help each other heal.