Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
I was 35 weeks and a few days when I lost my baby girl a couple weeks ago. When my husband and I found out we were pregnant, we were so excited. Our family and friends were excited. She was our first baby. I went to all my doctor visits, ate healthy meals, took my prenatal vitamins and did light walking a few times a week. I enjoyed my pregnancy as I did not have any serious complexions. I had nausea and heartburn occasionally. All my test came back negative or within a normal range. Baby girl and I were healthy. We had a gender reveal, baby showers and turned our guest room into her bedroom. Everything was falling into place perfectly. The crib and dresser arrived 1.5 weeks earlier than we expected. I washed all her baby clothes and placed them neatly in her dresser. We had the stroller, car seat, pack n play, rocker…everything was all set and ready for her. All we had to do was wait for her arrival to shower her with so much love. While at work I noticed that she was not moving, even after drinking cold water and eating breakfast. I called my doctor and went to her office. The midwife nurse did the ultrasound, but NOTHING. Then the doctor came in and again, NOTHING. Her heartbeat that was so easily detected was no longer there. The worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life. My husband hugged me as we cried. When I went to the hospital to deliver her, the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck multiple times. I am struggling to cope with this. I have returned to work after being out for 2 weeks and my mind just drifts and I think about all the plans I had for her, for her first Thanksgiving, her first Christmas. Holding her in my arms, rocking her to sleep, waking up to her cries, feeding her, etc. I’m trying to learn how to live with this. I’m glad that I found this site. Reading other people stories has helped me and I do not feel alone. I never thought anything like this would happen. I never even really heard about stillbirths until it happened to me. How can a perfectly healthy baby just die like that? How can something so that’s supposed to be so natural end is such devastation? Why does this happen to anyone, especially in the 3rd trimester. It is just so evil and cruel. I try to pray about it. I keep telling myself that “Everything happens for a reason” “She is in a better place” “From my womb to God’s kingdom” but I rather she be here with me. I know I almost wrote a book, but just had to vent. She'll always be my first baby girl. Love her so much.
You were out of work for so little time. It's hard to cope with that when your pain is still so raw.
I'm going back after 8 weeks. Sometime it feels I need more time and sometime I feel like keeping busy will be a good distraction.
They will always be our babies, and live on in our hearts. We had so many hopes and dreams for them, it hurts to not be able to watch them grow. Take it one moment at a time, my heart goes out to you.