Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
It's been hard. No mother should ever see her child's heart so still. Im angery and sad and mostly I just miss him and want to hold my son. With Mother's Day coming up I feel like I've got the "Mother's Day Blues"...
But then I've been thinking while we may never be lucky enough to have our little angels bring us breakfast in bed on Mother's Day, we are still mothers. We still love our children, and I know they love us.
So I thought I would list some of the joys I've had in being Liam's mother...I'm calling it "The Mother's Day Blues and Pinks" in honor of all our little boys and girls.
I loved Liam from the moment I knew he existed. There was such an imediate bond, it was magical. It was scary to become a first time mother but I knew I would do anything for him.
Liam brought such joy into my life, but also into the lives of my family and friends. My Dad cried with joy at becoming a Granddady. My sister couldn't wait to teach my child sports, because someone has to. My best friend was calling my most everyday asking excited questions about how I was feeling, how was he growing, and wanted to move closer....I could go on...
Everyone loves to feed a pregnant lady.
The first time we heard Liam's heart beating I was so overcome I started crying and Joel recorded it, you can hear me in the backgroud giggiling and crying.
Everytime we saw him on the ultrasound it looked like he was dancing. Once he looked like one of those Russian dancers, bending his knees and randomly throwing an arm in the air.
The first kick...there were 4 in a row, I was reading a book in bed while Joel slept and I screamed in delight.
My cat Pandora seemed to know about Liam. She started always laying by my belly.
He loved stir-fry and the song "Moonlight Sonata."
Joel read Shel Siverstein to him.
Liam was a beautiful gift I wish I could have kept.
So I hope you find peace on Mother's Day, if only for a couple of minutes. I hope someone special in your life treats you special, because all of you are. We try to ignore the insensitive people out there who just dont understand, but it's hard. Scream when you want to, cry when you need to. I'm relearning it's ok to smile again. Some of you may have read my journal from a few days ago where I felt Liam's presence, from that I take such comfort and the gift from my son that it is good to smile again.
I guess I'm trying to share my gift from Liam to you. It's ok to smile again. So when you start to feel like maybe you've got the Mother's Day's Blues, try to remember the good things you were able to expecince with your child...the happy joyus moments...The Mother's Day Blues and Pinks.
Please share them with us if you want to...
But then I've been thinking while we may never be lucky enough to have our little angels bring us breakfast in bed on Mother's Day, we are still mothers. We still love our children, and I know they love us.
So I thought I would list some of the joys I've had in being Liam's mother...I'm calling it "The Mother's Day Blues and Pinks" in honor of all our little boys and girls.
I loved Liam from the moment I knew he existed. There was such an imediate bond, it was magical. It was scary to become a first time mother but I knew I would do anything for him.
Liam brought such joy into my life, but also into the lives of my family and friends. My Dad cried with joy at becoming a Granddady. My sister couldn't wait to teach my child sports, because someone has to. My best friend was calling my most everyday asking excited questions about how I was feeling, how was he growing, and wanted to move closer....I could go on...
Everyone loves to feed a pregnant lady.
The first time we heard Liam's heart beating I was so overcome I started crying and Joel recorded it, you can hear me in the backgroud giggiling and crying.
Everytime we saw him on the ultrasound it looked like he was dancing. Once he looked like one of those Russian dancers, bending his knees and randomly throwing an arm in the air.
The first kick...there were 4 in a row, I was reading a book in bed while Joel slept and I screamed in delight.
My cat Pandora seemed to know about Liam. She started always laying by my belly.
He loved stir-fry and the song "Moonlight Sonata."
Joel read Shel Siverstein to him.
Liam was a beautiful gift I wish I could have kept.
So I hope you find peace on Mother's Day, if only for a couple of minutes. I hope someone special in your life treats you special, because all of you are. We try to ignore the insensitive people out there who just dont understand, but it's hard. Scream when you want to, cry when you need to. I'm relearning it's ok to smile again. Some of you may have read my journal from a few days ago where I felt Liam's presence, from that I take such comfort and the gift from my son that it is good to smile again.
I guess I'm trying to share my gift from Liam to you. It's ok to smile again. So when you start to feel like maybe you've got the Mother's Day's Blues, try to remember the good things you were able to expecince with your child...the happy joyus moments...The Mother's Day Blues and Pinks.
Please share them with us if you want to...
Sometimes I forget to remember the good times I had with Tuscany, and instead I dwell on the times I will never get to have.
Thanks for the reminder:)
Of course, that was before Hallmark took over. Remember you are Liam's Mother and Mother's Day is for you!
peace
Stephanie
I, too, am struggling with the notion of "celebrating" Mother's Day, for it was the last day Sophia was alive last year -- her heart stopped the next day at 41 weeks exactly. I do not know how I'm going to fare on that day...my DH is taking us out of town for the week so we can just be alone.
My DH's cousin's wife likes to point out that I am not a real mother as my daughter is not here with me, but I beg to differ (trust me she is horribly cruel to us). I nurtured my Sophia while she was with me, I sang to her, talked to her, and had great dreams for her -- and will mourn her loss for the rest of my days.
Moving on with life after one has lost their child is by far the most difficult thing any mother/father can do, but by doing so we honor who they are and what they mean to us. I am doing my best to go on with my life, but some days are still very difficult.
I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers, and hope that each of you can find some peace on that day!