Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
I just found out a week ago my mom was accepting child support for me until Oct. 2010 when I was 19, and I'm on the edge of disowning her and just moving on with my life.
The reason I'm angry is because I moved away from her when I was like 12 and couch surfed or stayed with my meth addict sister until I was about 16, (I dropped out of school in 6th grade believe it or not). I moved back with my mom for a few months and we ended up homeless sleeping in a car. I got so sick of it and moved to my best friends house, got two jobs, got a GED and then started college, then got pregnant. I struggled with bills, and by the time Sophia was born/died my mom had been living with me rent free for a year.
She didn't offer a dime to help us bury her grand daughter, I was so ashamed that no one in my family would even offer a dollar. My BF's family paid for it all, everyone gave something.
So now when I find out the whole time she was mooching off me and my BF she was getting $250 a month and just blowing it, or spending it on my druggie sister I was so f#**ing mad!
I don't care about the money, I don't even want any of the cash she offered to "make up for this", it's the fact that during the worst time in my life she couldn't even help me, at the time I thought she was too broke, but the whole time she was keeping MY COLLEGE MONEY from me. Her own GRANDCHILD was dead and she... she didn't even care enough to help us bury her. It's like this huge flashing sign saying what I've always thought: "she doesn't love me". What kind of awful mother could do this?
Am I taking this too hard? I feel like she abandoned me in my time of need, she stole from me and lied to me, WHILE I WAS GRIEVING MY BABY'S DEATH. I don't know what to think, all I know is that my heart is broken all over again, and I don't know how she can call herself a mother.
The reason I'm angry is because I moved away from her when I was like 12 and couch surfed or stayed with my meth addict sister until I was about 16, (I dropped out of school in 6th grade believe it or not). I moved back with my mom for a few months and we ended up homeless sleeping in a car. I got so sick of it and moved to my best friends house, got two jobs, got a GED and then started college, then got pregnant. I struggled with bills, and by the time Sophia was born/died my mom had been living with me rent free for a year.
She didn't offer a dime to help us bury her grand daughter, I was so ashamed that no one in my family would even offer a dollar. My BF's family paid for it all, everyone gave something.
So now when I find out the whole time she was mooching off me and my BF she was getting $250 a month and just blowing it, or spending it on my druggie sister I was so f#**ing mad!
I don't care about the money, I don't even want any of the cash she offered to "make up for this", it's the fact that during the worst time in my life she couldn't even help me, at the time I thought she was too broke, but the whole time she was keeping MY COLLEGE MONEY from me. Her own GRANDCHILD was dead and she... she didn't even care enough to help us bury her. It's like this huge flashing sign saying what I've always thought: "she doesn't love me". What kind of awful mother could do this?
Am I taking this too hard? I feel like she abandoned me in my time of need, she stole from me and lied to me, WHILE I WAS GRIEVING MY BABY'S DEATH. I don't know what to think, all I know is that my heart is broken all over again, and I don't know how she can call herself a mother.
The best thing for you to do is just forgive her and move on. You don't have to interact with her... you are an adult. Just forgive her so you will have peace.
Hugs, Love & Rainbows!!
N.
Remember that forgiving doesn't mean that you are okay with what happened or that it is meant to help the other person. Forgiving is for YOU. It is letting go of the hope that the past could have been different...and that you are not letting the past (or what you just recently found out) have a place in your life. You don't need this anger, sadness and sense of betrayal in your life.
I know it is easier said than done to "let it go" and forgive, but I hope you can! Hugs and prayers to you!!! You are one strong woman!!!