Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Missing my Evelyn so much

princessevelyn
princessevelyn
I thought after 4 months it was going to get better but who am I kidding. It still hurts so much. I am reminded every single day of what I have lost because there's always pregnant women around me. I still continue to put on the happy mask at work but as soon as I get home, I go to her room and say hello and start crying. The pain of not having her with me is so unbearable. Every day I tell myself that I should be holding her right now. That's not the case because at the end of the day I greet my baby in her pink urn. This is so cruel and I can't take it anymore. I want to go out to the mountains and just yell. Why? Why me? Why us? Why does this have to happen? All I can do is cry. I miss my Evelyn so much. I wish I could hold her and kiss her again. Someone please make this pain go away.Why does it still hurt so much!
mysweetbaby1
mysweetbaby1
I am very sorry and I think the pain and grief may never go away. We are those unfortunate mothers who live a different life after the loss no one else can understand. There are days when we feel so bad but can do nothing except crying. Sending you some hugs and support to make you feel better. Take care and love for your sweet angel Evelyn.
Hollywood8687
Hollywood8687
I am so sorry. I feel the same way right now. Every day I face another pregnant woman and women talking about having kids and when they were pregnant and giving birth to their live babies and how horrific it was when my babies didn't make us. I ask the same question every day. Why me? Why us? Why the good people that wanted it the most? I will never understand it. I am deep in my grief too and people don't understand when it's completely understandable. It's seriously not that hard to understand why we are still hurting this much. I feel like anyone with any sense at all should understand that. This is a hard thing to grieve and something we should never be expected to forget or get over. I feel like grieving is normal and I speak out when people that knew about my pregnancy question why I'm "so sad". It's like- why do you think???? It shouldn't be such a hard thing to realize that I'm still greiving. The best thing that helps me when people talk about their pregnancies is to walk out of the room. It's really all I have the strength to do and if they can't understand that forget about them in my opinion. It's so hard. I get it completely every day since my babies died and all the ones before that.
Marthar1201
Marthar1201
I understand you after 9 months of my son's loss I caught myself driving today...and out of nowhere I started crying. I was crying because I realize how far I had gone after Eli's loss... But yet also realize it has only being close to a year. And I just can't imagine the rest of my life like this!
But!!!!! I try to take it one day at the time.... I think of those mommies who have being in this support group for over 12- 15 yes....and tell us about the light at the end of the tunnel.
I also say that every day.... Every hour... Every minute..... Is a day,hr,min.... Closer to be with Eli.


I will keep u in my prayers. And say a little prayer for Evelyn.
Hugs ur way.
Eli's Mommy, Martha
princessevelyn
princessevelyn
Thank you Angel Mommies for your support. This road is one that is painful to walk upon. The pain constantly pierces at my heart. I miss her so much and I want to hold her so badly. I hate this feeling.