I am very sorry for your angel baby Evelyn. There are no words that can help decrease the pain you are going through. But I can understand your feelings and yes people don't want us to keep talking about our baby. For me I wanted the world to stop and my heart broke down never to heal when I knew that my baby's heart has stopped.
Going through the due date is also terrible and it again reminds us the plans we had for that day to welcome our baby. I was too counting the days for my due date but when it came I had nothing but emptiness.
Take care

Thank you mysweetbaby. It's so great to know that there are so many of you that are going through and having the same feelings I am going through. This support means so much to me and I no longer feel alone in this. I just can't seem to get myself to feel happy again. I will never be the same person I was before I lost my baby. I'm sure time will play a role but for now all I feel is sadness.

We lost our boy at 33 weeks back in may of this year also due to a cord accident it has being the most difficult time in our lives the emotional pain is just unreal. I went back to work in September and I was dreading going back meeting people that I hadn't seen but it is also helping me to get trough this difficult time I like to keep myself busy as when im off I think and cry alot as I really really miss my Ben. He was our first child and its something that none of us mums should have to go trough of losing a child. All the angel moms are really great and they have helped me trough this difficult time the toughts of Xmas next week is killing me but its all the firsts that will be so hard our first Xmas without him his first birthday everything its just so hard.

Antoi, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your baby Ben. I was off for six weeks from work and I dreaded going back to work. When I did go back, it was so difficcult the first week because I work for a college and all the staff, faculty and students knew I was expecting. Most of them thought I was out because I had my baby. So when I went back, most of them asked if I had my baby and it was so difficult trying to explain over and over that I had lost my precious baby to a cord accident. As time and each day went by, it got easier because I didn't have to answer the same question. So far work has kept me busy but it's when I get home that iit become unbearable. I walk into her room to visit her in her tiny pink urn and tell her every day how much I love her and miss her. I know that she is not physically present with me, but her ashes are there and I guess that is what is making it more difficult for me to heal. I couldn't help but place a baby beanie on her urn to keep her warm. Christmas is killing me too. I can't find any happiness to get through Christmas. It has been the most difficult 2 months so far and it doesn't seem like it is getting any easier.

People around me got tired of hearing me talk about my little girl as well and I stopped crying around my husband too because I knew it upset him, it made him very sad and frustrated that he couldn't help me. He's a 'fixer', and he couldn't fix this. I remember vividly mentioning my baby to a someone in front of a close relative, I said that my baby had died and she (the relative) butted in and said that I hadn't really lost a child because She had never taken a breath by herself, she seemed embarrassed that I had spoken about it. I just shrank back into my shell and shut up, it was a very awkward moment and it was very hurtful. After that I stopped talking about my little Jane and she is only rarely mentioned in our home. Then I found this support group and for the first time in 12 years I have been able to speak freely about the pain I suffered and the anger and incredible sadness I felt for so long. I wish I had this group 12 years ago, I know it would have really helped. Thank you ladies. My heartfelt condolences go out to all of you.

Fuzzypeach9, This is why I joined this forum. People around us who have not experienced what we have gone through, do not understand. It gets frustrating and it hurts more how insensitive people can be. Hang in there.