Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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princessevelyn 02/11/2015

So it's bad enough that I am still grieving the loss of my Evelyn and it's been almost 4 months since I lost her, and I finally confronted my husband last night about wanting to try again. I have been desperately wanting to try again but he has not wanted to. We have been together for over 6 years and he finally admitted last night that he was still not over his ex. His ex left him over 8 years ago for another man and since then, he is still devastated and traumatized over her. That is his reasoning for not wanting to move forward with me. He is now not sure if he wants to continue with our relationship. He says half of him wants to stay with me and the other half of him wants to walk away. He says it has nothing to do with me and that it's all him. So as if it wasn't bad enough losing my baby, I am facing the fact that I might lose her father as well. Wow, if this isn't a double whammy for me, then I don't know what this is. It can't possibly get any worse than this....can it? He says he really needs to think this out because he doesn't want to make any drastic decisions and have to regret it for the rest of his life. Is that supposed to make me feel better? So, I get to sit around and continue crying for my baby and now maybe losing my husband, until he can make a decision. So frustrated and angry and I don't know how to handle all of this at once, especially right now.

Desperately seeking support.

leeannwb 02/11/2015

I am so sorry - my thoughts and prayers are with you. Email me if you need to vent or need a shoulder to cry on - I would love to support you during this difficult time

Lee Ann

mysweetbaby1 02/11/2015

I am very sorry for what you are going through. It is really tough when you are already grieving the loss of your precious baby. I hope the decision your husband makes is in the best interest for you both. Take care and sending you support and prayers.

Rochelle43 02/11/2015

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. You're right. It's hard enough to grieve over your baby, let alone deal with what your husband is going through emotionally over his ex. To be honest, I think losing a baby affects both parents in very different ways. I'm not saying that your loss is what's making your husband have these feelings, but he may be pushing you away even more to hide how much he's hurting over the loss of your precious baby. I hope this can all be worked out so that you can move forward. So very sorry, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

princessevelyn 02/12/2015

Thank you so much ladies. I appreciate your support so much to help me get through this. I feel like giving up in life. I feel like giving up with everything. It's so difficult to love someone so much and lose that person for no real reason. I hope and pray that it does work out but if it doesn't then I just hope and pray that he finds the peace that he needs to move on.

Thank you ladies. I appreciate you.

princessevelyn 02/12/2015

Last night when I got home from work, my husband acted like the conversation we had earlier in the week didn't exist. He is the type of the person that does not like conflict and does like to deal with it. He would rather pretend everything's ok then to face it. It's obvious what I say makes no difference so I tried writing him a letter this morning. I asked him to tell me what he expects me to do and how he wants me to feel. I am so lost and don't know how to even behave around him at this point. I asked him if he wants a separation so he can work out his "ex" issues and hopefully come back to me a better man ready to move forward. So, I don't know how it's going to play out when I get home from work after he's read my letter. So.......to be continued. Need lots of hope, faith, and prayers.

Secretkeeper2 02/13/2015

If someone is unsure if they want to be with you, you should rethink the relationship immediately. You have been through a tragic situation, and the last thing you need is someone who isn't sure they want to stick it out. I understand that you have been with him for several years and that you probably love him, but reassess your self worth and realize that of someone doesn't want you 100%, you deserve better and should find the strength to walk away.

I'm not writing this to be hurtful, but I so often see women putting themselves second to the thoughts and whims of unworthy partners. If someone has to think about whether or not they want to be with you, don't give them the opportunity to do so.

Best wishes

princessevelyn 02/13/2015

You are so right Secretkeeper. I guess I don't have what it takes yet, the pain from the loss of my baby is so intense that I'm afraid the loss of my husband right now will take me over the edge. Although, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I know what I have to do, but it starts with me trying to get myself mentally, emotionally, pychologically, and physically better. Thank you so much for your thoughts. I truly appreciate it. Let me get better and then I will do the right thing.

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