Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
Angel Mommies, I'm having one of my moments. I can't stand this anymore. I miss my baby so much. Her due date is coming around the corner and each day leading up to it is killing me. It's not fair. Instead of shopping for baby clothes, diapers and bottles, I am shopping for decorations to decorate her urn. I can't take the pain anymore. I want it to go away. Why did this happen to us. I just found out that a coworker is pregnant and I broke down at work. My husband doesn't want to try and I do. It's been almost 3 months. He doesn't even comfort me in any way because he says he doesn't want to think about it. I can't keep going like this. I'm losing it Angel Mommies.I just started my period again and that tears me up inside too. It's another painful reminder that I don't have my Evelyn. I hate getting my period!!! I hate that I can't try to conceive again because he doesn't want to and he might not ever want to. I hate being without my Evelyn. I HATE life right now. I don't want to live another day.
Sheamolan3
I know how you feel. I miss my son so much every moment of the day and the only hope I have had for feeling any kind if healing is the idea that maybe we would have another baby. My husband and I started fighting about it the other day. He doesn't want more children. He thinks I should be happy with the two we have. Nolan was not planned so why would we plan a baby now. He doesn't understand the physical pain of empty arms and everything I had to go through to not have a living baby at the end. I was so depressed about it earlier in the week. Now I am choosing hope and to ignore him. I'm not on birth control, so if it's meant to be it will happen. Sometimes men just need more time. They don't always understand what we went through and what we need to heal. Give it a little time and try to have hope. I'm with you.
princessevelyn
Mommy Sheamolan3. What you are going through with your husband is exactly what I'm going through with mine as well. Our Evelyn was unplanned and it was his first. I have 3 other kids from another marriage. Last year we talked about having a baby and then he changed his mind. I ended up accepting his decision. I wasn't on birth control and Evelyn happened. He was happy and excited.When we lost our baby he wanted to try again right away but when i was ready to try he changed his mind again. He told me he didn't want to try. He told me i should be happy with my 3 kids. The only thing that has changed was that i did get pregnant. It's something that i wanted so bad because i want to be a mommy again. He has no kids and is 35. I'm 41 and not getting any younger. Our relationship has been a little rocky since. I guess I feel a little resentment that he doesn't understand. I'm so frustrated and confused but one thing is for sure...I want another baby. I have hope and faith but each period and each month that goes by I lose a little of that hope and faith.
chasynsmom21
Mine has almost been two months on 01/13. It was my first child and i lost him at 38 weeks, I have returned to work and I try and be happy and positive, but deep down it seems impossible. I was not married and was with my bf that left me three days after we buried him and haven't talked to him since which breaks me down even more because that was the only piece of my son I had left. I want to fill in the void and try for another child asap but I can't just bring a baby into this world with no stability or no good father figure and it just kills me inside everyday. I don't know what to do or how to feel but my emotions range from being angry to sad in matter of seconds. I do know how you feel about wanting another one and from what I hear from other angel mommies that is the one way to help fill the void. I wish you the best of luck and I am here to talk to also, I do know the pain.
princessevelyn
Chasynsmom21. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby and your boyfriend. That is a terrible thing to have to go through after your loss.It is true that trying to conceive again will at least fill the void of emptiness but of ccourse it will never replace our angels. I sometimes feel that my honey wants to leave me too. Earlier last year he mentioned that he wasn't sure if he wanted to stay with me. He didn't know why. He said it wasn't me and that i was perfect in every way. He told me was happy with me but not 100 %. How's a girl supposed to feel after hearing that. Said he had to think about it some more and started using my kids as excuses, that he didn't feel close and connected with tbem. So I did a lot of crying last year feeling sorry for myself that I want good enough for him. After all the crying, I woke up and decided that whatever happens, I will just work on myself. I did for a few months and then found out I was pregnant. At first I thought he wasn't going to accept the pregnancy but he surprised me and he super excited and happy. For 6 months I witnessed a changed man. After the loss of our baby I feel now he's back to feeling the same way. He doesn't express himself and he doesn't say what's on his mind so I never know what to think. I'm going crazy over the loss of my baby, over him not wanting to try again and over the possibility that he might still leave me after 6 years. What more can go wrong?!?!?! I do hope you are able to find your prince charming soon and love you and care for you endlessly and unconditionally. You will fill that void again. I have faith and hope for you. Hang in there.
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