Growing up both my fiance and I were very religious and through various life experiences growing up we drifted away from our childhood faiths. With Olivers birth we were going to begin looking for a church to go to as a family, but now since we lost Oliver for no reason whatsoever I will never step foot in a church ever again, my fiance on the other hand after almost 11 months after our loss and us now being pregnant with our rainbow feels the need to return to church, when I ask him why he said "with what's happened to us I would rather have God on our side then against us" I said "God is already against us or he wouldn't have taken Oliver from us." Its of course his choice to go back and I won't stop him, I just don't understand it, I for one have no faith left and especially after some of the horrible things that so called " good church going people" said to me regarding our loss, I'm better off as far away from organized religion as possible.

hi I just wanted to say however you are feeling is fine, there is no right or wrong when it comes to grief, there is no right or wrong way to handle the pain and emotion that seems to have a life of its own regardless of what we say, our heart feels what it feels,all i cansay is there are many here who understand the anger, the pain, the isolation and need to just be left alone with your heart and handle it the best we can on a moment to moment basis, its been 3 years for our family our baby boy Isaiah was born Oct 2 2009 stillborn. I didnt think I would live through it, buy with much support I made it here this far, we support each other no matter what-sharon

I'm sure I don't have the right thing to say here. We are all entitled to our opinion and i totally respect that. I just wanted to share my experience. I can relate to being angy at God and turning away from religion. My whole life was spent turned away from religion, to the point where I felt extremely uncomfortable around anyone who was very religious. Then something changed. My daughter was stillborn. That was 1 year ago. That day i felt the urge to seek God. I can't explain why, it was so out of character for me that I didn't even know how begin. But that urge grew stronger and I now attend church every Sunday and I am converting to Catholic. That is so extreme for me, believe me. If you knew me 1 year and 1 month ago, you would have heard me say the exact words 'i will never convert to Catholic'. Literally. (My husband is catholic, so thats why that sentence would have come up).
I'm sorry for the long reply, but my faith is now so important to me. I felt that I had to share this. I don't have any words to explain why our babies died when others live. And i don't even know what God would have to say about it. I just know that I don't blame God for my daughters death, but i can totally understand why others do. Faith in God isnt for everyone, i used to be one of them. I wish i had some words of wisdom, but i don't. I just keep praying that all the angel parents find some peace.