Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Going Back

rave713
rave713
Has anyone else found it hard to go back to where you layed your angel to rest. It will be 2 years in December and I keep talking about wanting to go out there.Yesterday I tried to pick out flowers to bring to her, but I couldn't even do that. I began to break down. The idea of seeing her name set in stone kills me. But sometimes I wonder if it would help. I still talk as if she's here sometimes, and what she'd be doing now. I just can't stand to face it but feel guilt because I haven't been back. Has it helped anyone to go back? Has anyone else not been back?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Its only been 3 months for me,but it took me two months to go back. I just recently went and just sat there and cried, I dont know how it will be for me in two years,but Im sorry for your loss and Im sorry its been so difficult.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It's been a month. I went back a yesterday and am going today. It was hard because they don't have his stone yet so it looks like a dirt pile and he deserves so much better. My husband and I cried and prayed and it was really tough. We are bringing solar lights so he isn't in the dark, flowers, a windmill and random stuff for his one month today. I'm actually glad to be going back to "check up" on him, it is helping me feel like I'm taking care of him
deleted_user
deleted_user
its been just over a month now but i have been there for morethan 5 times, i like going there to light a candle for him and put flowers, My Akili was rested @ what they call a baby garden, which is just a graveyard for babies and it makes me feel like he is with friends. you can put lots of things that you want, toys and stuff and windmills ang solar lights, when am feeling down going there makes me feel alot better, Going there might make you feel better aswell. xx
deleted_user
deleted_user
It will also be 2 yrs for me in December, and we have only been once, last year on the 1st anniversary of her funeral. I brought her a poinsettia since it was the Christmas season. I kind of feel that I have so many special reminders of her in my house that I don't need to go to where her body is buried.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It took me two and a half months for me. All the while i would feel guilty about it but i just could'nt get myself to go. When i finally did, i cried like i had not done for a long time. It is amazing how this first visit helped me because i view it as one of the measuring gauge on how i am progressing in my grief. Now i can go and visit Little G's gravesite and not have the same reaction that i had at first. I would say that you will know when the time is right for you to go back. I am sorry for your loss. Lots of love.
deleted_user
deleted_user
hi ya,
i go up to the grave a lot. a first i went 2 times a week, and now nearly every 10 days, just to keep it tidy. it gives me great comfort somehow, don't know why. we get pebbles from the beach for her to surround her space and i got 2 rose mini rose bushes for her.and my MIL got a vase with spikes.
i havent got a stone yet, i am going to wait until one year, and make a day of it. as time is going on, it looks a bit more pretty. at first it was a pile of dirt and weeds.
xxxxxxx