Just cry, don't worry about what they think. Honestly, you probably aren't doing well nor will you ever be the same person you were. It will take time to feel like normal, but don't force it. If people around you can't handle it, they should just walk away. I know its extremely hard to endure people complaining about their kids, eventually you will be able to be a little more lighthearted about that kind of stuff. People mean well. For now you might just as nicely as possible let them know that this hurts you. I don't know that isolation will necessarily help, maybe though. I also had/have problems with memory, but that gets better too. The weeks and months following 9/10/11 are still very foggy for me. I also hear that it is not uncommon for mothers to have memory problems after pregnancy/birth, so that may be a little normal anyhow. Just take it a day at a time. It has been a year and half since I lost my Mason, it does get better, but I always miss him.

The first week back at work is the hardest but I'm sure you'll get through it! Don't give up yet. You are stronger than you think you are. you are the person who will always find courage to face any worries. God is with us, remember? Thinking of you today. You can do it, dont force yourself to be the same as before. What do they expect? Who could be the same after what happened to our babies? I am going through the same phase as you are now and I know it's not easy. What I told myself is that nobody can tell me how I should act or feel!

Give it some more time, a week or two and if it doesn't get better, then working from home would be an option. I will be praying for you tonight my dear friend.

Fortunately when I went back to work mostly everyone was very sensitive around me. I've made friends of some co workers and they let me cry to them when I felt like it. One of my bosses is male though and there's been 2 or 3 times he's walked in on me crying and he just kinda freezes then turns and walks back out of the room. I'm sorry you have people who complain about their kids though. That's sort of selfish/self absorbed. I did have one coworker who was going through a relationship/dating problem and told me that I needed to be thankful for my life because I had a good husband. (This was about two weeks after returning to work, 7 weeks after Aaron passed) I wanted to scream at her, "REALLY? Do I need to remind you that my baby just died! I'm sure your little relationship drama is nothing compared to the shit storm of emotions I've had over the past two months!!!" I was having a sensitive day that day. And the same girl breeds dogs and a few months after we lost the baby one of her dogs had two stillborn puppies. She related the loss of the puppies to the loss of my child. I almost freaked, I had to separate myself from her quickly. She still occasionally says things like, "I don't know what we're gonna do if we lose another puppy, I don't know if I can deal with another dead puppy." Again, REALLY? Try dealing with a stillborn baby. Damn. I guess there's always gonna be selfish buttfaces out there.

Sorry, didn't mean to get on that rant.

I'm sorry you're feeling forced to be normal. Do you mind if I ask what type of work you do? Do you have opportunities to slip away into the bathroom to cry if you need to? I did that a few times too, just for privacy. It's alright to not have patience for workplace drama as well. Think about it, that drama is really nothing compared to what you've been through. I guess my best advice would be to just take a deep breath and take it one day at a time. Be patient with yourself and remember that you're not ruined because you lost Gemma. It's just gonna take time to pick the peices up and try to somewhat put them back together again. I hope I'm making sense. Love ya sweet lady. Jessie

I hope that you don't hold your feelings inside when you need to let them out. I was off for 6 weeks and would still have weak moments when I would lose it. I believe that people will be more sympathetic than you realize. I know that others can't understand exactly what you are going through but often times people understand why you are still grieving, especially those who have lost a loved one. Anyone who thinks you should "get over it" is someone to avoid bc we never get over it, we learn how to cope with it and in time the crying spells will become fewer and farther between. You will see that the acute grief you feel now will not last forever but you will always miss your baby. Hugs.