26.3.13. It's almost here, the date she was born and died. It still feels like just yesturday. I am only just starting to think with a clear head again. Finding messages and emails of sympathy I must have read at some stage but don't remember at all.
Almost one year and the reality has only just started hit. Why so long?
Grief just seems to send me in circles. Getting so far but all of a suddern you find your self at the start again.
Will it be this way for ever? How does this greedy darkness keep sucking you back in?
It's a pain I will endure for a life time. A pain that silently follows for life, always in the shadows. When you think things are going well it jumps out of those shadows and crushes you again.
Constant reminders every where, not that you need them, you know it's always there, waiting.


Sorry I just started typing and didn't stop.
I havnt been here for about six months.
I don't know what to do on her birthday.
Xxx