Yes Mama- I too had a hard day while the rest of my family continued happily with their Easter. Its only been a month for me-and my family had the nerve to tell me to "be happy" and not ruin thier holliday with my sadness. That I had my time to grieve-that I need to get over it.........Holidays Suck...and so does my family

Yes, today was really hard. I kept thinking I should be making two baskets, not one. That our little girl should be wearing a pretty Easter dress, and I should be holding her instead of making all the food. I had to excuse myself from the table in the middle of a conversation to go cry. I sobbed all the way up the stairs. I still don't understand why she isn't here.

Yes, I hear you. It's 7 months for us too. I think all the holidays for the first year will be the hardest. Of course we can't help but think of how we were looking forward to doing Easter, or Christmas etc with our bubs for the first time. I skipped christmas and easter as my way of coping!

I also had Anzac day today (in Australia, so it's like Veterans Day?). My dad is a Vietnam Veteran and I always watch him march. This year I spent the whole parade on the side of the road balling my eyes out, because there was all these people with babies and proud veteran grandparents hugging their little ones after the parade, and my father should've been showing his first grandson off to his mates.

This has been one of the hardest hollidays for my so far because it real now. I was in denyal thanksgiving, christmas, new years and valentines day. But its been hitting me hars that its real. This is my story. This his his story and i cant do anything to change it. Shopping for my daughter was very hard because i felt like i was leaving him out. I imagine him in little baby kakis with a button up shit and a little preppy sweater vest. He would play with my nephew whos a month older than him. They would be best buddys. Its not fair that these plans could never have come true.

Easter has been tough for me too. Yesterday marked 2 months since we lost Emily. I have been pretty good at putting on a show and staying strong for my oldest daughter. I went back to work 3 weeks after it happened and had more good days (it's all relative) than bad, but these past couple days have been really tough. We visited the cemetery for the first time and I guess the anxiety leading up to it had affected me all week. I stayed busy cleaning and cooking, but any down time led to my thoughts wandering. I was like a machine because I didn't want ANY downtime. Saturday night we had my mom's family and I constant had a full wine glass in my hand. I ended up crying myself to sleep that night. Yesterday I had to sit and listen to my sister-in-law... who is due any day, AND got pregnant by surprise (we had to do IUI) talk about her labor and how she has everything planned out. I put on a smile and nodded but it ripped me up inside. It was a tough couple of days...

Yes, Easter was really hard. My daughter wanted to decorate an egg for baby Andrew which made me cry. All throughout the Passover Seder and Easter church (we celebrate both), I kept thinking - we were supposed to have a seven week old baby. It was just a horrible week.

I thought it was just me. All day, I kept thinking to myself, "If I"m not making my son an Easter basket and hiding Easter eggs, who is?" I just wish I knew he was being taken care of the way I would have taken care of him.

It's been 2 months since we lost mary, and I had no idea what to expect for the first holiday. I woke up and immediatly started thinking about how I should be dressing her up and bringing her over to my familys for the first time. I cryed at random times throughout the day and was really crabby at my husband. I also have such a hard time on days like these because the loss to me seems so diffrent from the loss to my husband, when days like this come up it seems like he does not even think twice and that is really hard for me. It's hard to think about but I think on some level we will feel like this on every holiday or special occasion for ever, it might not ache as much but will always be there. Its nice to know we are not alone in these feelings.

Yes, Easter was very hard. I spent the day with my family a niece, who is only a couple of mos older than my son. I kept thinking how we should be oohhhing and ahhing over two babies not one. I also thought about the cute outfit I would have bought him and his first easter basket. Instead we went to the cemetery and brought a solar flower. This is something we have to live with the rest of our lives, it's not a problem to get over. It's not even like any other death because these babies were our future, our life.

I am so very sorry for all your sadness and grief right now ladies. I remember the first year was extremely hard. I just do want to let you know it does get better. In june it will be 2 years since I lost my Bella. I now have an 11 month old little girl(Bailey), she did not replace her sister and when she was 5 weeks old my husband left and has not come back and this is his year to have her so I didn't have her this Easter but my heart was not sad. I have a picture in my living room of Bella's foot and it no longer makes my heart drop. I know she is in a good place. I am even at peace with losing Bella because she would have been my last baby and now that I have Bailey and love her personality so much I can't imagine her not being here. I know one day you will feel better, if not today one day, I promise. I will pray for you all.Much love
Nicole

I do!!! I used to LOVE all the holidays. And now, I dont even want to leave my house and I find myself getting very angry on the holidays. And sadly, I take it out on everyone around me. I know I shouldnt but I do. Yesterday would have been Kaylee's very first holiday, since her due date was April 17. When I was pregnant, I dreamt about it and it was so hard. I dreamt about Christmas as that I was my all time favorite holiday and that is horribly ruined for me, since she was born on December 17. I have decided I am not celebrating too much for this upcoming Christmas. I always decorate to the max and I dont think I will even put up a tree this year. I had decorated my entire house right before I found out I lost Kaylee, and I remember coming home to a house that looked so cheery, and it made me sick.

So, nope you are NOT alone and the fact that we dont have any other children probably makes us hate them more, but at least we dont have to pretend to enjoy them.

Amen. I would be blessing my baby this month. I made Easter baskets for my other children, and cried the whole time. I made one forJake and donated it, but that hurt too. Sending you a hug! SHelly

Easter Sunday was also 2 months since I lost my daughter. I was prepared to have a tearfilled day. But I was suprised that I was ok. Easter was nice, and I had a chance to talk to my mom about Mary Grace. It was good to talk about her. She was my first baby, and it still kills me that I am not pregnant with her anymore. I would've been 31 weeks this Wednesday. I was looking forward to having a baby for the fall and winter holidays and so was my family. I am not looking forward to those holidays. Just know that you not alone in how you feel. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
(((HUGS)))
Alison