Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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Difficult Day

Secretkeeper2
Secretkeeper2
Today will be a tougher day than usual. Though I have avoided almost all outside interaction for almost a month now (goodness, has it already been a month??), today I will have to venture outside my new comfort zone of my house, my four girlfriends, and my family. My daughters (all three of them) dance at a local studio, where we have gotten to know several people very well and almost all by sight. The next two weeks mark parent observation classes, and I will have to go to watch my girls dance. I have put my mom in charge of bringing them to school (so I can avoid the parents) and my husband in charge of picking them up (same reason), and this will be the first time I will be seeing people who have known me when I was pregnant with Stephen. I dread both the looks of pity I will be sure to receive as well as the questions from those who may not yet know. I wish I could skip the whole thing, but I know I have to go for my daughters' sake. Please send strength my way and I navigate what was once so simple and is now the complete opposite. Have a great dayNicole
mzjitt
mzjitt
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I wish I could tell you it would be smooth sailing, but I know that would not be correct. It has been nearly seven months since I lost my son and I still get the stares. What I know for sure is that you can make it! The first days of facing the world are the worst, but it does get easier.
Secretkeeper2
Secretkeeper2
Thanks so much! I sure hope you are right.
Motek18
Motek18
I was the same way after my daughter passed away. I dreaded going out to places where I knew people. And when I finally braved it and started going out, people came up to me and told me how sorry they were, and often shared their story of loss. It never occurred to me how often it happened! When I stayed in ALL the time I felt so alone. Going out and people talking to me made me feel like I wasn't the only one out there who had to go through it.
gemsandjules
gemsandjules
I am sending prayers and good thoughts to you my friend. It is so hard to be "that mom". It has been a year since my Gemma died and I have had several people lately asking me "the question". How many kids do you have? Such an innocent question that brings so much heartache. Such a simple thing to go to your daughter's dance lessons and have to feel so much anxiety. It's not fair. I have come to realize that it hurts more when people don't make eye contact with you. The people who might watch/look are maybe looking for an opportunity to say how sorry they are or to ask you how you are doing. Let them. Sometimes you find comfort from the people you least expect.

What is most important, though, is that you are showing your three daughters some amazing inner strength. By having the courage to go on, you are showing your girls that you don't just lay down and die when something terrible happens. You find a way to go on. God bless you and give you strength and comfort during these difficult days. Big hugs!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tons of thoughts and prayers for you. It is so hard to have to face the real world. For me it was going back to work. Not an eay thing to do but I have faith u will make it. Just focus on your girls and the love and pride you have for them.