Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
I have been crying non-stop this week. Tomorrow will be my angel's due date. I cannot believe it has come to this. The fact that I have no baby to kiss, hug, cuddle, feed, change, or rock to sleep. I still can't get over how some individuals can be so insensitive. Right after I lost my baby, my sister-in-law had the nerve to tell me that because I was selfish to get genetic testing done, that because I wanted a health baby, God gave me a healthy baby, but to punish me, he took her from me. I just could not believe she could tell me that being a mother herself. Another time she corrected me when I had invited an aunt into my house to "visit the baby" and she told me I should not put it like that because technically, there is no baby to visit. I am so sick of ignorant people. She also had to throw in my face that my depression and sadness affects all the other family members and that I should try to move on. I now avoid the in-laws as much as possible. It hurts to know that others who have not gone through what I have gone through can be so cruel with their words. I miss my baby so much. I cry by myself most of the time. I don't know how I will be tomorrow or if I will even survive it.
I feel like its hard to let things go in one ear and out the other sometimes, but the best thing I've learned is to stand up for yourself and say what you feel is too harsh and downright wrong and don't listen to them. You know how much you loved the baby. I'm trying to start the greiving process myself. There are many comments made because people don't understand. Sometimes it's because people don't know what to say, and other times it's like they are downright trying to be hurtful. I don't care about their personality types either. Some things are better left unsaid. Let people know what topics upset you. Let them know how fragile you are and that you are hurting. I know exactly what you're talking about with regards to peoples words keep pouring out causing tears to pour down. It's hard. They don't understand. I'm going to take a wild guess and say she's never been where you are. That's awful. I'm sorry you have to deal with that. I still let it get to me too but just know that it wasn't anything you did. That's the truth, and it's cruel of people to try to judge anyone, let alone someone who has been where we have and lost a child. Yes, a child. I'm sick of people talking as if my twins, my son Phoenix and daughter Ava, were two defective products that I could just run out and replace. They talk like they didn't matter because they didn't make it. That doesn't even compare. These are the stupidest people ever. It's obvious ignorance and I am absolutely SICK OF IT . People should think before they speak. I am so sorry for your loss. It's the worst thing in the world to loose a child, and sometimes I wish these ignorant people would just shut up, listen, and be there for us. Sometimes words aren't the best forms if support. We are all here for you in this time of sorrow. I hope you can find time to do something special for your baby like burn memory candle, do something to remember the baby by, write a letter to the baby, something simalar or talk to a grief counselor if you have to. You can talk it out on here. I am here for you even though it may take some time to get around to messages and stuff, I'm here if you need to talk.