I feel you Martha. Every day, everything I do I think "I should have my baby daughter with me right now, but instead I have my sadness and emptiness." I sometimes feel I am in a parallel universe, the "dark" universe as opposed to the light one, the RIGHT one where I have an almost 6 month old daughter. In fact, if I'm being honest, I hate those other women with their babies. I don't want to think that way, but I do. I think," why did you deserve to have your baby? Why did you deserve to have several children when my one left me?" I am angry and bitter. My husband tells me I should be happy for others and want the best for them but the truth is all I want is my daughter and if I didn't deserve to have her with me nobody else should get to have theirs either. I know that's terrible it's just where I am right now. But even deeper down I wouldn't wish this pain on any person. I'm just angry.

I know what you mean girls. I can type a million times over ITS NOT FAIR. I guess conclusion is that life is no where near fair. Sometimes i see other sicknesses like the ALS ( ice bucket) and cancer people. Life is tough as hell....one min, something is right and the next min...your life is take away from you. Thats why instead of looking for those moms with babies, look for your own blessing. ( At least thats why I TRY to do.) Easier said then done, just my advice is....don't let yourself go down the dark rabbit hole. It's 2 easy to get lost there. I'm sure we all have things to be grateful for. I find myself getting angry more then anything these days. Just plan MAD at the world. Then i spend quality time with my love of my life-hubby...and family. As so grateful we all have health and for a min i 4get the trama. Here's to seeing the glass half full.....( or trying to!!)

Sara, yes I feel the same sometimes. Why? why bless me with the opportunity of being pregnant and just take my baby away.... I wanted him just as bad as any of you in here. He was planned...he was not a mistake...like many other parents say..... we wanted our little boy. 2 night ago I saw on the news this DAMN GIRL who abandoned her baby on a dirty alley right after she delivered him. Why did she get a chance of having her baby? Should I have done the same thing so that my son was alive????? People like her make me sick......
Scarlett yes I am thankful for my husband and family...but I think I would be even more thankful if my son was here with me.
I miss my baby..... and again everyday could had being a miles stone.....

You've all said everything that I've been feeling and thinking this past week. I was just given the book "Empty Arms" by Pam Vredevelt, and it appears to touch on these thoughts and feelings. I look forward to reading it and sharing any insights or any comfort I get from it.