Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
I have flash backs 10 or more times a day. When I see an ambulance. When I am in my bathroom. When I ...think. Literally they come out of nowhere and everywhere. I know time heals all blah blah blah...
Most of the time I want to be so messed up I can't think.
But I can't. Because I know how disappointed my baby would be if he could/can see his pathetic mom. So I try to work, and clean and cook and...
Breathe. One breath at a time. That's my life, now.
Most of the time I want to be so messed up I can't think.
But I can't. Because I know how disappointed my baby would be if he could/can see his pathetic mom. So I try to work, and clean and cook and...
Breathe. One breath at a time. That's my life, now.
, but you can also get PTSD symptoms from a single pregnancy loss. PTSD is post traumatic stress disorder. If you Google PTSD one of the symptoms is flashbacks. Any stressful situation can cause this. You don't have to have been to war or have been a victim of any violent crime to get it. You can get it from a major loss which is what you have had. Some people don't understand how hard the loss of a child who never got to take their first breath affects us. Some people have to have been there to understand, and even so in my experience, they may still say the wrong things and expect you to move on. People don't get that it's impossible for me to be happy right now. They don't understand I'm not being selfish. I'm not dwelling on it- it's just impossible to interrupt my thoughts from there because I loved my twins so much. I lost a daughter cameron at 16 weeks too seven years ago and I did notice flashbacks with losing my first. My counselor was kind of uneducated about it and just gave me a look like I was crazy, but I've been told that this can cause this. It is a traumatic thing losing a baby. Losing a child is the hardest loss. I hope you can find some peace. Most importantly, if you feel emotional , let it out. Go somewhere private to have a moment.
You can also post a virtual candle on here
http://www.isands.ie/candles/index.php
It takes a day or so to get it on there but it stays on there if you go back in the pages. I try to keep posting every month or so for Ava and Phoenix but there are mothers adding every day. I also physically light the candles for them. I hope you can find some peace somehow. I know it's way easier said than done with losing a child though. I'm struggling a lot myself right now.
And yes you have to do everything you can to get to a " comfortable" mood.... I myself keep myself super busy with work....
There will always be triggers....but you will get to smile and and enjoy simple thing of life after your baby.
There will never be a day that you don't think about your baby. For me next month will be 1 ur since I lost my first and only son. I have learned to accept that he is not here with me.....his spirit is...because that's what keeps me going. You will have your days...but guess what it's OK to cry and remember your baby..... You are a mother and that's what mothers do think about their kids no matter what.
Hugs ur way
Eli's mommy, Martha