Stillbirth Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.
So I finally feel that I want to share my story. I lost my precious angel Eli on November 4, 2017 at 35.6 weeks. First, I found out I was pregnant 3 weeks before our wedding. We even announced at the reception that we were expecting. My husband lost his father at 2 and mother at 16 so I was thrilled he was going to have something good happen in his life with the birth of his first child. Well unfortunately, it was not to be that we would have our little baby in the physical form. I had noticed the night before that I hadn’t felt any movements and we tried everything (juice, candy, music, shaking my tummy a little) thought we felt a kick so we went to sleep. That morning, I still felt uneasy and so I already had a tour scheduled at the hospital’s maternity ward. So my thoughts were to come early to get checked to put my mind at ease then head to my tour and then finish little errands to my babyshower the next day. Well, we get there, first nurse cant find heartbeat, then second then the dr was called. He then confirmed our worst fear, my little Eli had passed. That pain was the realest thing I have ever experienced. Nothing else is even close. I was angry, hurt, sad and completely helpless. Why and how could something like this happen! We did everything right. This is so final. At worst, I was expecting the dr to say baby is in distress and need to be delivered but not this. At 11:57pm, my perfect Eli was delivered and my husband saw this cord was wrapped tight around his neck tight. I was so numb thinking this is really happening. Im supposed to have my baby shower tomorrow. I felt more grief for my husband because this truly broke him like why does this happen to me. I have not gotten over this pain and I know I never will. I am literally taking things day by day. Some days are better than others. I have just started to get back to my previous routine like i went back to work yesterday. This loss was the hardest thing i have ever experienced. I have read some of the other posts in this forum which made me cry for those people. I was reliving the experience all over again and the pain is too relatable. I hate that we are all brought together here because of this shared pain. I wouldnt wish this on anyone.
